Wife serves me the "news" while abroad

Hi i was so sad to read your post as i know exactly whay you are going through as do so manmy of the others that have posted on your thread.
i agree very strongly that if you can you should come back from china or you may well not only lose your wife but everything else as well...
it is so difficult to get through this....do you have a support network in china at all......................
keep posting there are so many people on here who will try and help you through this

I am going through a custody battle and have taken advise FRON top lawyers and spends thousands GBP
I recommend based on the same, and my law degree, that you PLEASE COME BACK HOME NOW, FOR YOUR KIDS.
CONTRACTS WILL GO AND COME.

CF

thanks cf. From a legal perspective with the fact that I am away, will it hinder any chance of getting access to my kids that I am away. Will the courts look at it badly that the father is away during all of this? If I break my one year contract now I am liable for tens of thousands of pounds. I know money should not be an option but I will need every penny saved to ensure I can get through this divorce and the kids are ok financially moving forward

hi am i right in thinking you are about 6 months into a 12 month contract? so you only have 6 months remaining to do etc...does your wife want to start divorce proceedings etc yet .......i would suggest you find a solicitor this end just to get an idea what to expect and what they recommend etc i am two years into this and we arent even at the Nisi stage yet,,,so there is time just be up to date knowledge wise where you will stand etc when you return etc

correct, 6 months left. She doesn''t want divorce proceeding yet. That will wait until I get back to the UK. Thanks for the advise and yes, I have contacted a lawyer recently. They will advise in due course.

hi the only thing i would add is make sure your lawyer is a very good divorce/family lawyer....stay strong it is so hard but must be even more difficult trying to make sense of everything when you are away from home

Thanks for the amazing kind words. Its rather great to see that the human race still has some sense of caring in an increasing selfish world. Its comforting to know there are people out there, that do not know me from Adam, who are willing to put in the time and effort to help and make a difference in a persons life. Thank you all so much.

Yep, you all told me. And as mentioned I probably knew it myself, I just didn''t want to accept it.

At least now I know, I can get closure and start feeling better about myself that it was not my problems or issues that have split this family apart. I can see her for what/who she really is...... trash. I mean who would let their husband take them on the holiday of a lifetime, give him false hope, let him pay for your au pair, big car, big house, all bills and food. Then when his back is turned kick him in the balls and then deny it.

Yes, those tan lines she is showing her "friend" are from the amazing holiday we went on and I paid for. Nice, isn''t it.

Its amazing, after 15 years you think you know someone, that they are this amazing wife and mother and are not capable of doing anything like this. Can''t believe its taken me so long to see her true colours.
Are there any woman out there that has been in similar situation? Can you relate, is this the work of a vindictive, selfish, cowardly person or the actions of a scared, confused, panic stricken individual.

In a way I don''t rue her for having the A, millions do, attraction and sex are natural, I''m not saying infidelity is acceptable, but we are human and it does happen. Its the lying and deception and leading on and being taken advantage of that is the killer. But then again, this only happens because I let it ....... so is it my fault?I think this every day.

The sad part is it doesn''t change a thing about the way I feel. How weak and pathetic is that. If she said tomorrow she is sorry and lets work this out I would drop everything and do it.

I suppose its places like wiki that give me perception and clarity of thought. Someone said earlier:

"Kick her ass. Restore your psychological health. You have 2 kids. Focus on them and don''t be a doormat"

Never truer words said and has actually made me realise that this is not my fault and that I need to man up and do what I need to. F*ck her off out of it and concentrate on me and those kids.