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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Some Guidance

  • r16
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10 Aug 12 #348692 by r16
Topic started by r16
Hi,

My wife left in Feb and since has had very little contact. She has paid some of the mortgage since she left but hasn''t really talked about divorce all though I did buy all the paperwork from this site for her to complete should she decide thats what she wants. She now has asked me to buy her out of the house but still no mention of divorce. I don''t want to divorce her and even if I did i doubt she''d agree to any of the examples of unreasonable behaviour I could potentially put. So I figure leave it until two years is up - unless she says otherwise.
I''m keen to keep the house so am happy to offer half the equity - which she is happy with. Should I just get a seperation agreement drawn up and buy her out until such times she wants a divorce? Or should I push for a divorce? Bearing in mind that might upset her and change her mind on the house

Your thoughts would be much appreciated!

  • Fiona
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11 Aug 12 #348732 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
Whether or not you should get a Separation Agreement drawn up is a personal decision.

If there is full disclosure, both parties took legal advice and the agreement is fair (complies with the law) a separation agreement carries considerable weight. An agreement and divorcing after two years separation may avoid the situation of allegations of unreasonable behaviour inflaming the situation resulting in protracted court hearings, unnecessary legal costs and damage to long term family relationships.

The disadvantages are;
    although a separation agreement is a contract it isn''t treated in the same way as a commercial contract and if there are problems later the agreement may be subject to review by the courts

    if after two years the other spouse refuses consent for the divorce you may need to wait 5 years to divorce without consent or use unreasonable behaviour

    the separation agreement will need to be replaced by a Consent Order so effectively you are paying twice (although that might still be cheaper and less hassle than inflaming the situation)

I would see a solicitor early on to find out where you stand and what options there are given your particular circumstances . If you then decide to negotiate an agreement between yourselves, or with the help of a mediator, you will be doing so from an informed position.

  • r16
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11 Aug 12 #348807 by r16
Reply from r16
Thanks for the advice. To be honest there is so little in the pot, apart from the house, its hardly worth the cost of going to the solicitor!

  • soulruler
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11 Aug 12 #348808 by soulruler
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Is your wife renting?

  • r16
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11 Aug 12 #348862 by r16
Reply from r16
I have no idea where she is. I let her take a load of furniture on the basis she was getting a flat but she never got a flat and the furniture is now stored at her parents. I think she stays there but there are rumours of a third party so she maybe with him. Any contact is usually me making the first move. I called her yesterday to ask if she intended to pay anything to the mortgage this month - I wasn''t hounding her I just wanted to know so I could budget. However she was acting very strangely on the phone and seems to be having a break down. Hence why I don''t really want to push for a divorce. That and the fact I still love her very much, although I''m pretty sure its over

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11 Aug 12 #348869 by soulruler
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By the sound of the posts there are no children involved. How long have you been married and have you had concerns about her emotional state before she left?

  • r16
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11 Aug 12 #348872 by r16
Reply from r16
4 years married. Been together nearly 12. No kids.

Her emotional state before she left was fine. It was a total bolt out of the blue for me

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