Hec, where do I start! At the beginning I suppose.......
Met husband when I was 15, spent a few months together then parted company because my parents didn''t approve! Got back together 4yrs later, had a baby (unplanned (I know it takes two but he said he was being "careful"!)), moved in together as a family and had another baby two years later, got married and went on to have another baby. So, to sum it up, we have three children aged 20, 18 and 14 years (all living at home still). Been married 16 years, own a house (with mortgage), husband self-employed, me not working at present.
I suppose at this point I ought to just mention that my husband is an emotional/mental abuser, he has never hit me but it has come close to it in the past and I know it is only a matter of time before he crosses that line and yes I am frightened of him. So what should be a "normal" run of the mill divorce suddenly becomes a bit more complicated.
If I dare to say that I want a divorce on grounds of U/B, he will kick off, so I want to avoid that route at all costs if I can. Ideally I want to take the "seperated for 2 yrs" route, but even this isn''t straight forward as I know he won''t move out and I can''t afford to rent as I don''t work, so it would be a case of living seperately under the same roof (nightmare!). I know that it is possible to apply to the courts to make him leave etc, but I do not want to make waves. I''m hoping that by doing things "gently", he will accept a divorce as a natural progression to having lived seperate lives (or not as a married couple).
Another reason for staying in FMH
is that there is some structural work to be done on the house (extension in progress). If I go in all guns blazing stating I want a divorce, I know he will stall with the building works and the house will not be in a saleable condition then I will be stuck, good and proper!
I would be grateful for any thoughts and ideas from anyone who has been in a similar position to me and for any advice on the legal process.
I feel like a headless chicken at the moment, where on Earth do I start!
I ought to write a blog really, then I could write down my reasons for wanting a divorce for you all to see and understand, but I don''t think I''m emotionally up to opening old wounds just yet.
Thanks for reading.