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In other words, have his cake and eat it!!!
doesn''t want our marriage to be over but doesn''t want to end up on his own either so is keeping OW on the side!!!!
Well, I think most people would agree with him on that point. Do not bring children into adult business.
He wouldn''t let me tell our child about affair
You divorce him for unreasonable behaviour. Virtually every single person in the country can use UB if it is phrased right. You do not have to make out that he is some kind of demon. You can use things such as not sharing time together, not treating you enough, lack of intimacy, even leaving the toilet seat up. If you want a divorce then you can get one, and there is not a thing he can do to prevent it.
What do I do if I find 6 months to one year down the line that nothing is better & I no longer want to be with him?
Yes, if he says he will not agree to the rules or tries to negotiate different terms then it just proves that he is still trying to wriggle his way out of the consequences of his actions. The rules are not negotiable. It is not a discussion. It is terms and conditions for you to give it another try. If he does not agree to the terms and conditions then he obviously is not 100% committed to fixing the marriage, and there is no point discussing anything other than the terms of your divorce.
If I do that & he says he can''t do those things right now/has no response to some of them do I tell him its over then & I am not going to discuss further?
I gave a few examples above as did the others. It is pretty easy for almost anyone to think up some UB grounds.
As regards filing for divorce in the future, what will I use as counts of unreasonable behaviour if he tries everything to restore marriage but I just can''t ''get over'' his affair?
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This legally binding agreement defines how assets (e.g. properties and pensions) are to be divided.