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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Shocker !!! his UB reasons

  • amefbi
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14 Aug 12 #349436 by amefbi
Topic started by amefbi
Just when you believe its gonna be OK, all comes down with a crashing again, and Im back to where I was. Received draft of Petition from his sols. Did prepare myself that its gonna be lies, its just formality and I will sign whatever he states. as long as I can get this divorce, the financial issues is more important to me.

But this has shocked me to the core and I cant sign this.My other post on this site gives the truth about the hell Ive had past 6yrs.

This statement of his case in short.
1. loveless marriage for yrs, no emotional warmth towards him
(fine with this one)

2. Solely financially responsible all our married live without any assistance whatsoever from me.I have shown no desire to work caused him tremendous pressure
(OMG, I worked 35yrs,24/7,long hours,hairstylist, owner of 2 salons abroad. My earnings about £50,000 and his £1000 per mth. I paid for our luxuary lifestyle)

3.I do nothing in FH,burden on him, I simply wish to be a kept woman, he feels Im only with him for financial reasons
(Im ill, dissabled, restricted movements, can hardly walk, still do all household activities, pacing myself. He flops on sofa to watch TV, wont assist me at all. Will not allow me to speak about my health, problems, read medical records,in 6yrs never even offered me glas of water, when I was in bed for 5weeks)

4.My attitude is manipulating,when he seeks to raise his concern,he is face with threats that he will be left with nothing
(he has been abusive to me,mentally and physical, making me feel worthless and a waste of space,yes many shouting fights when I confronted him with his dishonest,and intentional money fraud with pension, not wanting to accept I cannot be employed, giving me no money, even for prescriptions.Telling me to go and work if I need money.

He has only been paying the househould bills since 2006 when I could not work anymore. I paid the £40,000 deposit plus costs on FH in 2005, I used my savings and paid for all and everything in our home, interior restorations, plant for garden, did many myself while his watches TV ,new boiler, wooden floors,I paid to make changes to suit my disability and make my life easier to get around. Paid our Life and Endowment policies, until 2008 when I had no more savings to support myself.

5. He feels unable to communicate with me, I have no disire to addres our marriage wants to dissolve as quickly and painlessly as possible (yes this is fine with me )( He has not spoken to me for 6mth at a time, when I tried to solve our issues, I have been speaking to a brick wall for 6yrs, we lost all our policies as well as he would not pay them when I could not anymore from 2008)

I cannot sign, have problem with 3, 4 and 5 on his statement of case. Giving the impression that I have never worked or contributed and a kept woman just with him for financial reasons. How can I then show a Judge afterwards that I am in fact ill and dissabild and need money to support myself, why I have to claim SM.

On Petition Part 10 (3) Financial Order he has ticked all the boxes that he can claim what I have intentions of claiming from him??
(2) Costs, that I will be responsible if I Delay or Defend the Proceedings.

So Im back to where I was again. Any advice on what I should do. How do I handle this in the correct way. I don’t feel like signing and just without predudace? Agree to Divorce but not for these reasons. Do I make a lists of why with every paragraph and send to his sols, as I have to reply in 14days.

  • cookie2
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14 Aug 12 #349440 by cookie2
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You should write this. I agree that the marriage has broken down irretrievably and I do not wish to contest the divorce. However I do not agree with the faxts as presented by the Petitioner.

In the costs box where is asks if you object to paying costs, you should write by agreement the Petitioner will be paying costs since you are not defending.

That is all.

  • maisymoos
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14 Aug 12 #349441 by maisymoos
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It''s very hurtful, yes, many of us will have seen a completely made up version of events on petitions. But do as Cookie says agree to the divorce but not to the reasons.

It can be hard to do, but it is not worth contesting if you agree the marriage is over.

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14 Aug 12 #349443 by amefbi
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Thx for your quick response Cookie2. I am breathing again.

I dont have to state why I dont agree with the facts?..will I be asked at later stage about this.

The costs box I cant tick anything. It reads if you wish to claim costs from the Respondant (box is clicked) Co-respondant shall be ordered to pay costs of this application and then its typed just below in Capital letters ...SHOULD SHE DELAY OR DEFEND THE PROCEEDINGS

Or does the Petition that comes from Court have these options to tick and change and different from draft Petition.

And Financial boxes all ticked as well that he can make these claims against me.

Nowhere for me to dissagree or tick boxes or make changes.

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14 Aug 12 #349444 by cookie2
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Oh right I take it this is a draft from his solicitor then? Yes the one from the court will have somewhere to respond to the costs claim.

The response should be the same. Rather than fill in a form you should write to his solicitor, tell them that you have received their draft, that you do not agree with the truth of the statement, but you will not defend this Petition provided no costs claim is sought.

No, not only do you not HAVE to state why you disagree, you SHOULD NOT state why you disagree. If you do start to argue about this then the court may see it as defending the divorce. Therefore you should not write any more than I have said. It is enough to say that they are not true. Basically you are saying you agree to disagree. That is the only sensible thing to do. If you argue then it will just cost you time and money and achieve nothing.

It is standard practice to tick all the financial boxes, just ignore this.

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14 Aug 12 #349446 by amefbi
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Maisymoos that has been my attitude all along. Who care what UB reasons are. The divorce is over and both agree. Only the Judge and his and my sols see these statements.

Mine its nothing compared to reading when the other party accuse you when it comes to Abuse and give examples, or Adultery,or where children is involved, then sparks can fly, defending,arguments, refenge and going back and forth and getting nowhere.

I have been in abusive ralationship for 6yrs and did not even want to mention this in divorce...but reading the statement of his case as a Judge or another person will see me and why we are divorcing..that I am kept woman, never work and he has been responsible financially for 40yrs...When my biggest obstacle is going to be to claim Maintance or any money from him due to my circumstances and my reasons why.

Can someone give us 5 simple reasons for UB,that will go down calmly on both sides that one can modify bit. I think that would be helpfull to many.

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14 Aug 12 #349449 by cookie2
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amefbi wrote:

Can someone give us 5 simple reasons for UB,that will go down calmly on both sides that one can modify bit. I think that would be helpfull to many.

The reasons depend very much on the circumstances of the marriage and separation. There is no such thing as a "one size fits all" UB Petition.

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