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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Divorce timing

  • bab
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15 Aug 12 #349638 by bab
Topic started by bab
Hi Everyone,

Hope to get some advice and comment from people in the forum.

I''ve been trying to suggest my stbx to go to mediation for our divorce. However, she just ignores all my requests. Shall I just go ahead and initiate a divorce from my side? What is the best way to approach this?


I just want to move on and start being happy again.


My objective is to make sure she won''t lose out on tax for the financial settlement. We have a young child together. I''d like my son to have stable homes to live in, even though his parents are separated.


We have 2 properties between us. Both have sizable mortgage. One is let out. We live in separate bedrooms now in our current property. With a bit of down-sizing, she could have a place to her own with relatively low mortgage after the divorce.


It was her who wanted a divorce in the first place. Always threatened with divorce in the slightest argument. I suggested marriage counselling before but she ignored it. Eventually, our relationship got so bad that getting a divorce is the only way out.


I understand my stbx''s inaction. She''s not financially savvy. She hasn''t made any financial contribution in our marriage. She''s delaying to face the problem. For some reason, she''s afraid to start working and support herself. I''ve been supporting her to study and to pursue a better career. She''s able to get employment but she chooses not to. That''s the main catalyst of our marriage breakdown.

  • cookie2
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15 Aug 12 #349652 by cookie2
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Yes if you want a divorce and she is not cooperating then go ahead and file. Make sure you use unreasonable behaviour.

Her tax issues are her own. Not your problem.

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15 Aug 12 #349692 by bab
Reply from bab
Thanks very much for your advice, Cookie.

I just want the best for my son. I''d like agree joint custody with my stbx between ourselves. I have a very good father-and-son relationship with my son and I don''t want this to change dramatically after the divorce.

My concern is, if my stbx is not in a good financial position after divorce, she might use my son as a tool to "revenge" and restrict access. She gets the idea that UK court somehow favours the non-working mother in terms of custodianship. I don''t just want to be a just weekend dad once every 2 weeks.

I guess I shouldn''t worry so much and just start the divorce process. I just want to move on and be happy again.

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