House sale

I left my husband 18 months ago. He stayed in FMH and has kids majority of time. I rented somewhere.

It was my choice at the time and I said he could stay in FMH while the children are small as he is paying all the costs for it and can afford to do so.

I now want to buy somewhere so need my name off the mortgage now and also want to get a signed agreement that he will give me my half of the money in the house plus the deposit I paid when the children are older in four years time. That will mean that if I buy somewhere now I will be able to pay the mortgage off when I get my half plus the deposit I paid.

He seems to think this is not enforceable without a divorce and court order. Is this correct?

i don''t know if he will agree to a divorce after we are seperated two years or not. If I do divorce would he be likely to be able to get hold of any of my savings or anything?

Hi,

Welcome to wiki.

Yes, he''s right - you really need to start Divorce proceedings to then continue with the financial division.

On divorce all marital assets go in the ''pot'' there is no mine or theirs.

The ''pot'' gets divided up on a ''needs'' basis - not who put what in.

Talk with him about divorce - maybe on 2 years separation with consent?

WR

HCNO2012 wrote:

want to get a signed agreement that he will give me my half of the money in the house plus the deposit I paid

Wehey wait up there. What makes you think you are entitled to a 50% share plus your deposit back? He would be incredibly foolish to sign such an agreement.

i don''t know if he will agree to a divorce after we are seperated two years or not.

Then you should use unreasonable behaviour. That does not require his permission or cooperation.

If I do divorce would he be likely to be able to get hold of any of my savings or anything?

Yes. They are not "your" savings. You are married. They are marital funds and will be divided according to section 25 of the marital causes act 1973. Remember when you promised to share all your worldly goods...??

Is it possible to use unreasonable behaviour? I thought you had to live together for that?

We have always kept our finances seperate which is why I thought I could get my money back. Is this not the case? I am not interested in any other money he may have in savings or pensions.

I want to move on but he seems to be of the opinion that since I left and rented somewhere my housing needs are met and he is entitled to stay in the FMH "while he needs it for the children" and because he earns less than me.

He has even changed the locks and told me that I am not entitled to a key as he is entitled to privacy in his home. Is this right?

At present he has the house, the child benefit and I think claims tax credits as well. He seems to think this is ok as it evens out our incomes.

HCNO2012 wrote:

Is it possible to use unreasonable behaviour? I thought you had to live together for that?

We have always kept our finances seperate which is why I thought I could get my money back. Is this not the case? I am not interested in any other money he may have in savings or pensions.

I want to move on but he seems to be of the opinion that since I left and rented somewhere my housing needs are met and he is entitled to stay in the FMH "while he needs it for the children" and because he earns less than me.

He has even changed the locks and told me that I am not entitled to a key as he is entitled to privacy in his home. Is this right?

At present he has the house, the child benefit and I think claims tax credits as well. He seems to think this is ok as it evens out our incomes.

On the face of it, knowing nothing about the details - he''s sort of right.

He (as the Parent with Care) has priority on the needs basis as the children need a roof over their heads.

Yes, even though you kept finances separate they will all go into the ''pot'' for division.

The financial division starts with needs and considers length of marriage, children, your ages, your earnings, assets, debts etc.

If you are interested in an experienced opinion, you''ll need to list:

Your respective ages;

The number of children you have and their ages;

How many nights the children spend with each parent;

The length of your marriage and any period of pre marriage cohabitation;

Your respective incomes;

Your respective outgoings;

Your assets - both soley held and joint;

Your liabilities.

Without this information the answer to "What am I going to get" cannot be given.

Also have a look at this link explaining what the court considers:
www.wikivorce.com/divorce/Divorce-Advice...PLITTING-ASSETS.html

HCNO2012 wrote:

Is it possible to use unreasonable behaviour? I thought you had to live together for that?

Anyone can use unreasonable behaviour. It''s just a matter of phrasing it right. This can be a bit tricky if you''ve been separated for 18 months so I would advise you see a solicitor. But yes, you can get a divorce based on UB and you can get it right away, with or without your husband''s cooperation.

We have always kept our finances seperate which is why I thought I could get my money back. Is this not the case?

No, it is not the case. Imagine the "typical" case where the husband is the main breadwinner, and is the one who leaves the non-working wife in the house with the kids. How far do you think he would get if he said that since they always kept finances separate and he paid for 100% of the house, he should get 100% of it back?

I want to move on but he seems to be of the opinion that since I left and rented somewhere my housing needs are met and he is entitled to stay in the FMH "while he needs it for the children" and because he earns less than me.

Well he has a point don''t you think? Can he afford to pay you half of the value plus your deposit back? Where would he get the money from?

He has even changed the locks and told me that I am not entitled to a key as he is entitled to privacy in his home. Is this right?

Again he has a point does he not? Why do you want to go into the house? Have you given him a key to your rented home?

At present he has the house, the child benefit and I think claims tax credits as well. He seems to think this is ok as it evens out our incomes.

And you disagree with this on what grounds exactly?
Are you paying him child maintenance?


OK sorry about all of that it sounds like I am telling you off. That is not my intention. It is just that you are actually in the position most blokes find themselves in, but you seem to think you''ll be getting the financial outcome that most women get! Sorry but it does not work like that. The bloke usually gets screwed. And unfortunately you are taking on the bloke''s role here. If you want to know a likely outcome we would need to know full financial details:

1. Your respective ages
2. Length of the marriage and premarital cohabitation
3. Your respective earnings including benefits
4. Ages of the children and how much overnight contact they have with each of you
5. Each of your pension amounts (even if you''re not interested in it, it is relevant)
6. House value and outstanding mortgage amount, for the FMH and any other properties owned by either of you
7. Any other assets such as savings, shares, cars, etc, either solely held or joint
8. Any debts or liabilities such as credit cards, loans etc, whose name they are in, what they were for

Him 45 earns £17k plus CB £134 per month and undisclosed amount of CTC

Me 40 earns £26k no benefits.

I don''t pay him CM but we split all costs and he gets all benefits anyway. He has them 4-5 nights per week I have them 2-3. Ages 7 and 8

Savings me £25-30k cash and shares, him nil.

Pension. Don''t know values but I have been in a final slary scheme 15 years him for 25 years so his will be worth a lot more than mine.

Marriage, is this all the time we were married or just while we were together? Were together 11.5 years split 18 months ago but still married?

House £150k outstanding mortgage £20k.

Debts, me none him not sure but not a problem as not in joint names (is that right if just in his name it doesn''t come into equation?)

He says he can''t afford to buy me out at present.

A key would be nice in case I need to get things for the children when they are with me and it is half my house. When he refused me a key he did point out that it would be nice to be able to get stuff from my house for children too if they forgot something etc. Does being the co-owner not give me a right to have a key?

Regarding unreasonable behaviour solicitor told me I had no grounds as left more than six months and should try and get him to agree after two years seperation.