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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Possible divorce

  • Dane
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16 Aug 12 #349784 by Dane
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Hi, in Feb my wife no longer loves me and she now loves D H who she found on Face Book having known him in her pre and teen years.Married 37 years three grown up children one at home and one disabled child for whom my wife is appointee and refusing to give appointee ship up even though she now lives in Croydon with the above man/three months so far. I am looking after my disabled son medication Doctor visits etc.She thought they would go with her. We were all shocked by all this.We were forced to endure 5 months of terror, non privacy via I Phones that has a camera and being listened in to, spied upon and his connecting with my wife''s permission to her and our family computers remotely. Police were made aware of all this. He made false allegation that I was going to kill my wife and my self, Police came. Social Services sent me a letter, no visit though.He would talk to her night and day to three in the morning grooming her and changing her. All was completely out of character with who was a wonderful wife and Mother. She e-mailed me with her Croydon address but now is talking of possibly coming home for the children''s sake but staying married living separate lives. As she has lied to me so much since Feb and he instructs her what to do I am unsure what I should do.I still love her but my common sense sees warning bells.House is mortgage free and in my name. I have worked from my w/shop since 81. Any help would be appreciated.

  • sun flower
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16 Aug 12 #349785 by sun flower
Reply from sun flower
Hi Dane

The wikis with the advice at their finger tips will be along with practical advice soon, I am sure.

In the meantime, I am so sorry you have found yourself in this position.

Emotionally it can be hell, although it affects some perhaps more than others.

Anyway - welcome - but sorry you have to be here.

sc

  • Dane
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16 Aug 12 #349788 by Dane
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Thank you. We are devastated here I lost an incredible amount of weight and my children suffered greatly.Can not sleep.Work has suffered. Our marriage was classed as bullet proof.I am wondering if this man has done this before he knew exactly what buttons to push.He was married/divorced with 4 children and yet had a go at me over the phone for giving my wife ....4 children. And since my wife has been with him she has been rushed into Hospital five times and has a blood disease.Liver inflamed etc.

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16 Aug 12 #349806 by cookie2
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You should tell her she''s not coming home, change the locks, and file for divorce.

Remove all "spying" equipment from the phone, computer, etc.

  • flowerofscotland
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16 Aug 12 #349835 by flowerofscotland
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Hi Dane,

Welcome to the land that is Wiki, one you never expected to find, but one of great comfort and empathy, none the less. You will see that there are lots of people here who will understand and try and help you.

Firstly you are in shock, you are experiencing trauma. If you had been in an accident, a Doctor would have told you to rest up and mend. This is the same, but just that to the outside world, they can not see it. You must look after yourself, eat small and often, yoghurt and soup work. Exercise clears the head, go for a walk, fresh air works wonders. See your GP about counselling, this has helped so many of us. Counsellors are not there to be judge and jury but to try and help you make sense of it all.

Do not allow this woman and her OM to manipulate you or call the shots. Do not allow her back until you have taken legal advice to see where you stand. Get your ducks in a row, it sounds as if this OM sees your wife as a meal ticket. Do not allow this to happen, take back control.

Your children are what will see you through this, they are what you get up each day for, they need you. Take time out to try and work out what has just happened. I remember feeling that I was stuck in the midst of a world that was revolving around me so fast, but I could not even lift a foot.

This man she has hooked up with, from what you have said, sounds like he has a hidden agenda. Protect everything you have given your life to and worked for. Stand up and take some kind of legal action, and protect everything you hold so dear.

Keep posting and blogging you will be amazed at the amount of good solid advice you will receive from Wiki, all emotional and financial. Do not make any rash short term decisions that you will later regret. Take the time you need to decide what to do, do not allow yourself to be ''bullied'' by your wife or her new man.

Take care for now FoS x

  • Dane
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16 Aug 12 #349841 by Dane
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Thanks for that. I am exercising now and put some weight back. My daughter looks bad and she can not sleep either. Son has no way to show emotion.......Yes she said he has plans and that she can not just get up and leave him. She left us no problem. She says I am pushing her.Yet she tells me and the children on a separate occasion, not to give up on her. Promises the children" My future is with you" Told me early in this situation " We don''t want the house just the car" (Vintage Car)

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17 Aug 12 #350062 by Dane
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Can anyone explain the six month law regarding divorce and adultery? I am wondering if she is waiting for this time to pass by. Or he is.

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