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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Partners ex wont sign her offer

  • JojoToetoe
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16 Aug 12 #349905 by JojoToetoe
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Hi

My STBH''s ex wife (divorced 12+ months) won''t sign her offer for financial settlement and I don''t know how best to support my partner. I have always tried to keep out of this as its between him and her but we are getting married in 15 days and I want to protect my assets.

He has 40k in pensions and there is 60k equity in the FMH where she lives with his 2 children aged 17 and 22. He pays maintenance direct and has never missed a payment. She made him wait 5 years for the divorce and has stalled all the way through. He agreed to her proposal that they sell the FMH when the youngest is 20 and split 70/30 in her favour with him keeping his pensions. She should have signed last week but has now decided she is going to try to get a mortgage with the eldest child to buy him out so won''t sign even though this scenario was included in the settlement.

We can''t afford to take her to court which seems to be the only option. I understand once we are married things will change but his solicitor has not said how it will affect me and my home (mortgage in my name he came to me with nothing)

Any advise would be much appreciated

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16 Aug 12 #349907 by upbeat
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how was the settlement agreed in principal? Consent Order, mediation or just between them? is She trying to remortgage to pay him off his share? Do you have a pre-nup agreement between the two of you with regards to your property? I''m not sure how this affects you, but answers to these questions may help others be able to advise :)x

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16 Aug 12 #349911 by JojoToetoe
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Hi

The settlement was agreed through solicitors (she gets legal aid) and has cost him approx 3k so far. My STBHs sol drew up the draft consent form for her to sign.

She is trying to remortgage to pay him off but this was suggested 18 months ago and she wouldn''t! She works part time and earns 7k a year so not sure she will manage this.

We don''t have a prenup and to be honest I''m not sure they hold up in court anyway. When we marry I will update my will so that my children still inherit the house anyway (with him entitled to live in it). He is not on the mortgage and has never made any payments towards it.

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16 Aug 12 #349912 by cookie2
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JojoToetoe wrote:

I want to protect my assets.

Then call off your wedding. Sorry to say, the only way to protect your assets is to not get married.

She made him wait 5 years for the divorce

It is not possible for someone to "make" their spouse wait 5 years for a divorce. If someone wants a divorce they can get one within a much shorter timeframe than this, and there is not a thing in the world their spouse can do to prevent it.

she is going to try to get a mortgage with the eldest child to buy him out

Hmm really? Well she would need his approval to do this, which he should not give. Now if she wants to remortgage with their son after the divorce is settled then that is up to her. But they should settle the finances of their marriage first.

I understand once we are married things will change

Yes. If you remarry then you cannot apply to court for Ancillary Relief. This will put him in a bit of a bind if she decides not to play ball. It should not affect you, but it will affect him.


JojoToetoe wrote:

When we marry I will update my will so that my children still inherit the house anyway (with him entitled to live in it).

O rly?? Husbands have rights you know, you can''t just write him out of your will. If sufficient provision is not made for him then he could contest the will and would probably be successful.

Like I said - the only way to keep your assets safe, is to not marry. Sorry to be a killer of romance but that is how the law works. When you marry you are entering into a legal partnership. The line about sharing all your worldly goods is not just thrown in there for special effect after all!!

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16 Aug 12 #349915 by maisymoos
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If you remarry, your new husband will then have a claim to your estate. Your "Will" will not change this.

If she refuses to sign and you marry your partner. Your partner will not be able to apply for Ancillary Relief and this could make it an impossible situation if his ex refuses to cooperate.

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16 Aug 12 #349920 by JojoToetoe
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Gosh Cookie you really are unromantic!!!

The amendments to my will are his suggestion not mine! He can have everything I own (which isn''t a lot really!!)And it would be a joint one anyway.

From what his solicitor said he can''t make a new claim for settlement but can continue with the one started 18 months ago?? He has not hidden anything on any of the forms.

She would need to remortgage with someone else as she doesn''t earn enough on her own and won''t work full time.

He has never wanted her to have to sell the house just a fair share of it. If this is the only way she can do it then that''s OK by him. That''s why he included a provision to buy him out at any point up to the youngest being 20.

We simply can''t afford to go through mediation (she won''t attend) then take her to court.

As for making him wait. She started her own proceedings then changed her mind and told him she would not sign or even respond to any he started. The only grounds available for him were 2 years separation (she wouldn''t agree) or wait 5 years, which he did. He was trying to keep it amicable for the children. This didn''t work as they now think he is making them homeless and have stopped speaking to him.

I guess I''ll just have to marry him and see how things pan out!!

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16 Aug 12 #349923 by cookie2
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I prefer to call it realism than pessimism ;)

Well if you don''t take court action then you are at her mercy. If she refuses to sign then there''s not much you can do without taking court action.

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