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Any suggestions for abusive situation?

  • Shi Tong
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16 Aug 12 #349958 by Shi Tong
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Hello everyone,

Unfortunately I''ve had to go back to the police following a torrent of abusive text messages from my ex, basically over tax credits.

Though we''ve both been to a parenting information program and the police have spoken to her before, this hasn''t stopped her from thinking this is ok.

I''ve been referred previously to domestic abuse services, but had little help from them, the solicitor they recommended also wasn''t very helpful and I had to do most of the donkey work on my own (filling forms).

I''ve also just had my youngest (5) tell me that "mummy says daddy has taken all her money away".

Is there anyone you think could help me in regards to this kind of behaviour, since it won''t stop?

Thank you...

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16 Aug 12 #349963 by cookie2
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Yes, your phone company. Ask them to change your number. or to block hers.

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16 Aug 12 #349971 by Shi Tong
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Hello Cookie,

Seems like a good idea... I''ve debated that myself too.

I need a way to communicate with her, and I need to keep my number because it''s the mobile number I use for work. I''d need to print out a ton of new cards, buy a new phone etc.

Why should she also think that it''s an open ground to abuse me on too, though? Might be the only way though.. thank you so much.

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16 Aug 12 #349973 by cookie2
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You could report it to your phone company as harassment. But most likely they will simply tell you to change your number. You could ask them to block calls/messages from her, but they might charge for this.

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16 Aug 12 #349979 by u6c00
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I remember reading somewhere a couple of weeks ago that you can get a very basic Pay as you go phone and sim for the low low price of £0.01 on Virgin. Can''t remember where I saw the deal though.

Buy one, text your ex and say this is my new number then ask the phone company to block her number from your current phone. Some phone companies (definitely Vodafone) won''t do this unfortunately, they will only change your number.

If you can do this then your ex will have a phone number that works to reach you on which you can turn on and off at any time you choose. You have the peace of mind that you can just ignore your ex and still use your phone for business.

If you have an android phone, you can download a call blocking app from the Play store. There are loads of free ones. Unfortunately Apple don''t allow call blockers on the app store so if you have an un-jailbroken iPhone you''re out of luck.

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17 Aug 12 #350057 by cookie2
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u6c00 wrote:

I remember reading somewhere a couple of weeks ago that you can get a very basic Pay as you go phone and sim for the low low price of £0.01 on Virgin. Can''t remember where I saw the deal though.

Buy one, text your ex and say this is my new number

Ha - genius suggestion! I approve! :)

I got a PAYG from Tesco a while ago for Orange Wednesday use, it was £12.50 and came with £10 credit. Rubbish handset but it works. Bargain.

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20 Aug 12 #350717 by Shi Tong
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Thanks everyone!

You''ll be happy to hear that I both have a Vodafone *(ARGH!)*, and an unjailbroken iPhone.

I may well take up the suggestion of a cheap handset and a PAYG top up, though for now she''s stopped. Just when things "don''t go her way" so to speak, she gets very abusive.

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