Hello All,
Hope to get comment and advice from the great people in Wikivorce.
I wonder what the best approach is for my situation.
My question is, shall I go through
mediation or shall I just file for divorce on my side citing UB?
If we go through mediation, does it mean I can''t have a "quick" divorce citing UB?
With so much emotion involved, my stbx is likely disagree with the UB, however true they are.
Divorce is the only way forward for me and stbx. I don''t want to wait out for 2 years.
We''ve been married for almost 8 years. Late 30s. 1 young child who is almost 4 years old. I''d very much like joint custody of my son after the divorce. However, I''ve read in so many places that UK court favours non-working mother/parent in terms child custody. I just don''t know what will happen to me...
UB:
* Not contribution to the family financially even though she''s healthy and fully employable
(She did some very patchy part time work. She would just quit the job when she felt like it.
I''ve also been supporting her to gain professional certifications. She''s gone through perhaps 2/3 of the course. She would just take on some modules when she felt like it. Somehow she prolongs the course and sees it as an excuse not to start proper work.)
* Impossible to have a meaningful communication
(When our marriage was breaking down, she would not communicate. She said she just didn''t want to listen. I would resort to e-mail but she said not to bother to send them and she wouldn''t read them... Come to think of it, it was like that before and it just gets worse over time.
I suggested marriage counselling to her before and she just ignored it.
Somehow she thought the emotional "threat" of divorce would make me comply to her unreasonable demand.)
* Controlling behaviour on our son
(As our marriage was failing, she would devise some unreasonable rules on my son. I would guess the main reason was to reduce the bond between me and my son.
E.g. she demanded my son to go to bed by 8pm! I said the usual 9pm was fine but she just went mad about it and refused to communicate.
I normally finish work and get home at around 7pm. When I get home, I have to cook myself dinner, etc. Having him to go to bed at 8pm means I don''t see him Mon to Fri! I can''t take him to shower, talk to him and play with him. She would also try to take him out sometimes all-day at weekends!
She did try to force my son to go to bed by 8pm but it wasn''t successful.
Luckily, I''ve managed to create a very strong relationship with my son. I take him to shower if his mother doesn''t fight for it. I take him to local parks at weekends to play football and run around.)