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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


expenses for children

  • Stratocaster
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20 Aug 12 #350715 by Stratocaster
Topic started by Stratocaster
I realised that the joint account I have with my stbx has money drwn out by her recently. The money in that account is all from my personal earnings, she has her own accounts, I opened this account years ago when I was still in love with her. I wasnt expecting her to draw out money without discussing it with me, but she has.

She has told me she spent it on items and activities for our children. I am concerned because my current work position means I need the money I have saved to pay for maintenance to the house etc.

She refuses to give me receipts as proof that she needed the money for our children, I have no objection to paying for my children''s needs, but I feel that by drawing out the money without discussion she has acted in an unreasonable way even though it is not illegal.

We currently live in the same house as neither is able to afford to move out, and I HAVE to work at home as it is now my only source of income, and my resource needs are such that I cannot move away.

In your opinion is she being unreasonable by refusing to give me receipts for what she claims she spent on our children (clothes etc). This has only happened within the past week.

  • somuch2know2
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20 Aug 12 #350760 by somuch2know2
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What do you hope to achieve by the receipts? The most it will do, is make you feel slightly better towards her for not spending it on shoes.

Point is the money is gone, and you will probably never get to the bottom of where it went.

Dare I ask how much was spent?

You can however make not of this in the settlement and try and recoup... I stress t he word TRY

  • happyagain
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20 Aug 12 #350772 by happyagain
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We learn by our mistakes. Take her name off the account ASAP or she will continue to do this. It is unlikely you will be able to recoup these losses. Sorry.

  • survive
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20 Aug 12 #350773 by survive
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May I suggest that if you are trying to resolve this amicably, then don''t dwell on it, even though it is not fair, but maybe talk to her and say you wish to transfer the bank account into your sole name. I beleive she will need to sign a form. Then maybe you can both have separate accounts which could reduce some of the problems


Survive

  • Stratocaster
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20 Aug 12 #350777 by Stratocaster
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Knowing that the money was for the children would prevent me feeling resentment, but it''s gone now, thats £500 that I need to find to help pay the bills.

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20 Aug 12 #350779 by Stratocaster
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I''m just sorting out the form for the bank now, I need to find the right time to talk with her.

  • eyes on horizon
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20 Aug 12 #350807 by eyes on horizon
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do not keep joint accounts open. When I left we were 750 overdrawn..she said she needed it open for housing/bills etc; I am now left with 5K overdraft she spent and has no desire to pay off. Its your credit rating thats affected! and the bank doesnt care who spent it.

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