My wife has unilaterally contacted a solicitor and handed me a letter giving her grounds for wanting a divorce. I have struggled to accept the marriage is over, but now see there is no way back, given the things she has come up with as unreasonable behaviour. I cannot bring myself to accept her grounds as they are grossly exaggerated and make me sound like a monster, but I do now see that there is no hope of saving the marriage. Can I disagree with the grounds but still agree to the divorce, without that dragging it out into a contested divorce with the ensuing costs and delays?
You haven''t really provided enough information for a detailed answer. As you say, contesting a divorce is expensive and ultimately futile. It depends a bit on why you want to refute the unreasonable behaviour cited and what it is.
One reason would be the avoidance of costs; another would be ensuring you have not by implication agreed to anything which might adversely affect future children or financial proceedings. Are there any children of the marriage? You want to ensure that there are no allegations of child abuse, domestic violence or financial impropriety: anything which might cause problems at a later date.
You could cross-petition, which is probably unnecessary, or if this is a draft Petition you could negotiate and agree not to defend if the petition is amended.
If the petition is not amended then fill out the D10 and add a brief statement about why you are defending the specific allegations.
There is a fairly standard way of dealing with this, so you write to the nice solicitor and say something like although i accept the marriage has broken down i deny all allegations raised in section six of D8, i will however sign D10 on the basis that costs are agreed beforehand and that none of the allegations be raised at any future hearings.
More often than not they just agree, its all part of the horse trading that solicitors do anyway.