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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Urgent advice needed

  • worried11
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03 Sep 12 #353607 by worried11
Topic started by worried11
Mine is a long story that I won''t go into, but basically I was going to be divorcing my husband on the grounds of unreasonable behaviour, but it has taken a long time for me to get the money together. He has got impatient and now is insisting on divorcing me. He originally said he would do it on the grounds of adultery (not true), but now he has said that he is going for unreasonable behaviour. He won''t tell me the reason but I think he will put that he believed I was having an affair. I wasn''t, but because I got with someone else shortly after we separated (so did he!) he and his friends think I did.

I just want the divorce over and done with. We have already sorted out financial arrangements and child maintenance, contact etc. Should I just let him do it his way? Will there be repercussions if I agree to what he is saying even though it is not true? Part of me just wants it over and done with, and the other part of me doesn''t want him to bully me into it. I don''t want to end up regretting it.

Please help!

  • jslgb
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03 Sep 12 #353608 by jslgb
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As far as i am aware other than possibly being liable for the fee''s it doesnt really matter who divorces who. With unreasonable behaviour you have the option to refute the reasons but still agree to a divorce. If your husband does claim you had an affair you could dispute it but still consent to having the divorce.

However, unless he has actually begun the process you can still divorce him.

I may be wrong, and i''m sure a more experienced wiki will be along to correct me shortly if i am!

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03 Sep 12 #353609 by worried11
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He says he has submitted the papers today, but I still have the marriage certificate which he is demanding I give him tomorrow. He has said it won''t cost me anything, he will cover all costs. If I refuse the reasons will I have to pay?

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03 Sep 12 #353611 by jslgb
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Again, i''m not entirely sure but i dont think so. As far as i am aware he just needs to check a box on the papers to recover costs from you. If he leaves it blank then i believe he pays the costs.

I''m not sure where you stand with the marriage certificate with regards to giving it to him. If you dont want to he can buy a copy from the registry office of the area you were married.

  • Elphie
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03 Sep 12 #353621 by Elphie
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He hasn''t filed if he doesn''t have the marriage certificate.

He can tick the box saying he will claim costs against you, but that doesn''t necessarily mean he will be granted them. When you are given the papers from the court, you have a form to fill in, in response. You would say you don''t agree with the reasons, but aren''t going to contest the divorce. Then there is a question asking you if you agree to pay the costs, so you say no, because the reasons are not true. Then if he claims costs a judge will decide. If he doesn''t claim costs, then the issue won''t even come up.

It''s only the costs of the court, not the costs of his solisitor in acting for him.

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