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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Non-Molestation Undertaking

  • InnerPeace
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17 Sep 12 #356368 by InnerPeace
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Hi all,

My husband was served Non-Mol order and its been aprox 2 months now and he hasnt done anything to me so far. I have shed 7K on my solicitor for Non-Mol / Prohibited Steps Order / Resident Order only for the month of August. I dont know what my solicitor is going to charge me for Sept. So I want to obviously keep the cost low and had proposed to accept STBX undertaking, most important we have a child and I would like the contact to start ASAP, my child misses him. Currently I have interim RO for my child. So the question is can the non-mol undertaking be dealt / signed / sealed between the solicitors themselves or does it need to go to court and be sealed then?
There is a hearing scheduled on Oct 8, 2012. But I understand the more the hearing the higher the cost is going to be. Can you please advice?

Thanks

  • u6c00
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17 Sep 12 #356385 by u6c00
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If both of you agree to it solicitors can draft an order by agreement which can include the undertaking.

The draft order is then sent to the court where it will (normally) be agreed by the judge and then ordered without the parties having to attend.

It is difficult to say whether that is possible without knowing your circumstances. In situations where things are reasonably amicable this can be quite simple. If there is hostility then it is unlikely that things are going to be done by agreement.

  • Yummy_Mummy
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17 Sep 12 #356408 by Yummy_Mummy
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It is cost effective if you and your stbx can come to an agreement about as much as possible.

Usually in the case of Undertaking, the other person can cross-undertake. Non-Molestation Order is not the same as Undertaking though.


You would end up in Court if you both cannot decide or continue to contest. The more you contest, higher the costs.

One of the options is mediation especially if children are concerned, cheaper than going to Court especially if you both can agree.

If you both decide and come to an agreement then it can be written up and be approved by the Judge.
It is signed and sealed unless you both mutually decide to change something for the sake of your child.

  • InnerPeace
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17 Sep 12 #356409 by InnerPeace
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Hi all,

Thanks for your reply. On Non-Mol undertaking proposal,I have written ''Mediation'' as an option for reasons why he can contact me other than child contact. However his solicitor doesnt want that and has been removing that point from undertaking proposal.
What can be done to assure that solicitor first speaks to her client i.e. my stbx husband and them only after taking his consent should she reply?
My stbx has also been the one running away from making decissions or taking responsibility, so i am not surprised that he may have asked his solicitor to make all decission for him and he can enjoy with his mistress. And since he earns £125000 net pa, he doesnt care about money solicitor''s are charging.
On other hand my salary is much less than his and i cannot afford to continue to pay my solicitor such amount. it is so frustrating. :(

  • Yummy_Mummy
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17 Sep 12 #356415 by Yummy_Mummy
Reply from Yummy_Mummy
It is fraustrating.

But he will look silly in the Court if he continues to spend money for no good reason.

The Courts put children first so I would suggest that you try your best to work together for the sake of your child.

Nothing can be done with regards to ensuring that solicitors speak to their client. They want the best outcome for their client. The final decision is down to the client and it is their name on the paperwork.

I would get some further clarification on the Non-Molestation Order. This Order does not usually prohibit you two talking to each other, communicating to each other especially when it concerns children. Courts will want you to do that as you both are parents.
The Order is in place so no unreasonable behaviour takes place.

Hope this helps.

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17 Sep 12 #356418 by InnerPeace
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Hi Yummy mummy,

Thanks, thenon-mol order is for Domestic violence and harrassment against my husband. This order stops him to contact me directly or via 3rd person.
The proposal I have drafted via my solicitor & barrister is that he can contact me after giving undertaking only for child contact and for mediation, however his solicitor keeps on deleting mediation and says he will agree to rest. Winout mediationmeans Finance aspect is still in open and we would then need to go via solicitor, gosh, honestly i just really really hope this dark phase of my life comes to an end soon, and i can live peacefully again.

  • sexysadie
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17 Sep 12 #356419 by sexysadie
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What his solicitor is doing is in effect saying no to mediation. Given that there is a history of domestic violence mediation is less likely to work in any case - he may well take advantage of your reluctance to go to court and try to make you sign up to a Consent Order that isn''t in your interests.

If he earns that much money it might be worth applying for maintenance pending suit so that you have enough money to live on/pay your legal bills until the finances are settled.

Best wishes,
Sadie

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