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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


decree midi decree absolute time frame

  • AwaitingDivorce
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24 Sep 12 #357614 by AwaitingDivorce
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Can yopu please give me a rough idea of how long each stage takes if the finical sside is being done side by side via mediation?

So far my wife started the divorce 10weeks ago - it hasn''t been signed or sent to the court yet.

Once this is done, how long before a Decree midi is issued and then a Decree Absolute?

  • amefbi
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24 Sep 12 #357628 by amefbi
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Im no expert but mediation is there to help you come to an agreement about splitting finances instead of going back and forth for next 2-5yrs argueing about this. Mediator listens as to why each party wants what. Its informal process...and much cheaper that Solicitors fees for both parties going back and forth to come to a settlement on financial issues.

The Petition to divorce is seperate issue. I have not received mine yet but am aware its been filed to court 3 weeks ago. In same letter from stbx Solicitor to me is also a financial offer..that I declined. But this is not always the case that offer is made so quickly.

We might be finally divorced and can remarry in next 4-6mths, but we can still argue about the financial issues for the next 10yrs.

Hope I did not confuse you more but tried to explain in my way.

Its defo 3 seperate issues...Divorce, mediation, and Finances(why mediation is nessecary,costs?)..everybody circumstances is just different to the timescale.

  • hasski
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24 Sep 12 #357630 by hasski
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It''s probably worth pointing out that finances are separate from divorce; the DN/DA end the marriage contract. Once the Petition particulars have been agreed, the DN is pronounced and six weeks later the DA can be applied for (by Petitioner, otherwise by respondent six weeks after that - total 12 weeks after DN).

Obviously most people couple (pardon the pun) finances to the DA. Mine has taken forever because my STBE rejected all financial offers and we are headlong into FH :(

You''re doing the right thing going to mediation - if both parties approach it like adults, it should speed matters considerably

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24 Sep 12 #357649 by AwaitingDivorce
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My problem is - i dont want the divorce and the longer it takes the more chance i have of changing her mind. I know mediation is for ppl who have decided to end it, but im sort of hoping us being in the same room may build some bridges

So in terms of divorce timescales, if i agree this week, it could take 3weeks or so go through the court then she could sign in another 6.. roughly 10weeks??

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24 Sep 12 #357658 by WhiteRose
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AwaitingDivorce wrote:

My problem is - i dont want the divorce and the longer it takes the more chance i have of changing her mind. I know mediation is for ppl who have decided to end it, but im sort of hoping us being in the same room may build some bridges

So in terms of divorce timescales, if i agree this week, it could take 3weeks or so go through the court then she could sign in another 6.. roughly 10weeks??


The 6 week period between Decree Nisi and Decree Absolute are for this purpose exactly. A cooling off period, where if someone feels they have reached the end of their tether and acts hastily, it still can be rescued.

What are her reasons for divorce? Unreasonable Behaviour?

The problem is now you find yourself in limbo, which can be a horrible place to be :(

Would an honest, open discussion help? I always think communication is key and usually the lack of it is the main killer of relationships.

WR

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25 Sep 12 #357813 by AwaitingDivorce
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She started the divorce in anger, she went to the soliciotr why she was upset and mad - the problem is, all these weeks later she is still angry at me, i just need time for it to cool down.
Yes - unreasonable behavior

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25 Sep 12 #357816 by WhiteRose
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Sometimes giving someone space and time can make it look like you don''t care - which in turn can make them more angry.

On the other hand pestering her constantly can make her feel pressured.

If I were you I''d let her know (in a letter?) that you''re sorry (for whatever made her mad) you lover her, you want to fix this and are ready to talk about it once she feels she''s able to, in the meantime though you''ll give her space and respect she has a right to be angry right now.

Good luck! :unsure:

WR

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