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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Ex going for contact order

  • Saffs
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27 Sep 12 #358179 by Saffs
Topic started by Saffs
My stbx has sent an email today saying he is going for a contact order and now wont be transporting his son home from a club on thursday nights (this was one of his initial requests at mediation to be more involved!)until the contact order is in place and CAFCASS have assessed the case!

He currently sees the children (3) every Wednesday when he picks them up from school and has them overnight taking them to school on Thursday.
He sees them every alternative weekend. (tho not this months as he was on holiday with OW altho I did offer to swop my weekend on his return which he turned down) He had them for 2 weeks in the summer in addition to Wednesdays and his weekends.
On Fathers Day he had contact with them even though it was my weekend. I invite him to the kids birthday parties (albeit reluctantly and he has never taken this up)
We alternate Christmas Day.
I am assuming he is now going to be asking for 50:50? All seems bizarre! Have just submitted Appication for AR so not sure what happens now!

  • veryniaive
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27 Sep 12 #358183 by veryniaive
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Hello

I guess this is an informal agreement?

I would send a measured response to say that you expect child(ren) home at their regular time as has been the status quo for ___ until he has applied to Court.

I would leave it at that.

If he carries through with his threat (it may well be an empty one) and does not return them Iwould give it a reasonable period before calling and asking where they are.

If he continues to withhold them your only option would be to contact thepolice - a personal decision and a messy situationif you decide to do so.

If he does carry through the threat I would advise you see a solicitor first thing in the morning.

Keep us informed

Thoughts with you

Jess x

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27 Sep 12 #358185 by TBagpuss
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well, if he''s applying for more contact, starting by reducing the time he spends with the childnre isn''t going to help him much!

Have you received any application from him?

It would be reasonable to write to him to say that you understand that he no longer wants to be involved with Son''s club on Thursdays. ask him to confirm whether he still wants to have the contacts on Wedneday night through to Thursday and on Alternate weekends.

Confirm that you remain happforthe cotnact, as agreed, to continue, and ask him waht he is proposing. It may be that he has some idea that the agreement ought to be in an order, or, as you say, he might be seeking more, in which case it would be sensibe for him to tell you what he wats, you might be able to agree!

Are you still in mediation? I would also suggest that youoffer to return to mediation to discuss any issues he has around the current contact arrangements.

  • Saffs
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27 Sep 12 #358187 by Saffs
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Oh dear I must have worded that all wrong! Hes not threatening to keep them. One of my children goes to a club on a thursday night and ex used to bring him home afterwards. (his request). It suited me as I then didnt have to keep youngest awake to do late pick up...nothing I cant sort out as can do lift scheme with someone.
I was wondering why hes requesting contact order when to be fair he has pretty good arrangement and more importantly this has been ok with the kids.

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27 Sep 12 #358194 by maisymoos
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Safia

This sounds a bit familar! I can see why you are confused. I can only see two reasons he would be applying for a contact order

1) he wants existing contact formulised or
2) He wants to increase his contact time, but then this would seem odd if he is also telling you he wants to reduce it??? (i.e Thursdays)

If I were you I would reply and say you were unaware that he had any issues with the current contact arrangement and ask him if he could clarify what they are.

You mentioned CAFCASS so I assume this is already in the Court Arena?

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27 Sep 12 #358195 by Saffs
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He mentioned CAFCASS....he really has no idea about the court process at all! He is continually obstructive and challenging...my MK has said contact order will be a waste of his time...I guess time will tell! (despite being the one that left as he was "unhappy"...then accused me of having an affair and told the kids (!!) this is why he left. He then refused to accept divorce petition...resulting in using process server (again refused to accept papers)...then arrived in court to contest Decree Nisi with OW! Needless to say decree nisi was granted.
He has become someone I no longer recognise at all.

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27 Sep 12 #358198 by veryniaive
Reply from veryniaive
No my error!

Should have read more carefully.

Leave him to it then.

He will have to explain why he doesnt take up the contact he has now.

Dont bother responding

J x

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