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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Replying to 1st solicitors letter

  • claireannette
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30 Sep 12 #358579 by claireannette
Topic started by claireannette
Hi. Can anyone help me please

I received a letter yesterday from my stbx''s solicitor after a huge argument between him and his children. Basically after agreeing to do things amicably and not waste money unnecessarily he has thrown his toys out of the pram!
The letter is asking for the usual financial details although he knows what there is and isn''t as everything had been joint since day one
My question is do I have to reply to this letter? Can I do it myself to keep my solicitors costs down? Or can I ignore it until the Petition for divorce is filed?
The problem I have is he is self employed and I know he puts cheques through his new girlfriends account so any financial disclosure from him will no be honest. Also he has paid £100 towards his 3 children over the last 3 months despite earning a good wage which leaves me in a position where not wasting money on unnecessary solicitors costs is a must. I have pretty much everything in place regarding the marital home to be able to offer him a settlement but every penny counts
I appreciate any advice and thank you in advance
Claire x

  • rubytuesday
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30 Sep 12 #358590 by rubytuesday
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Claire

Without knowing the context of the letter, it is difficult for anyone to offer any sort of advice.

  • claireannette
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30 Sep 12 #358593 by claireannette
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It says they have been instructed to draft the divorce petition, which will be sent to me. Asks for my bank statements, valuation of marital
Home etc so they can advise him. Asks about selling of belongings to put towards divorce fees (some items were sold before things broke down to clear the overdraft, but he chose to only sell his stuff.) I''m assuming how I pay for my 1/2 is up to me. And mentions him not being allowed to see children this weekend. Eldest 2 refused to go and I''m worried about his mental stability after events last week. Gives me 14 days to respond. That''s it

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30 Sep 12 #358595 by rubytuesday
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That''s a whole bundle of issues in one letter :s

Usually, so that there can a full and frank disclosure, form Es are exchanged between the parties, so that each other can be fully aware (or as aware as the information supplied can allow one to be!) of each other''s financial situation. How long have you been separated?

I don''t know what happened last weekend re the children, but I do know that from your previous posts, there were issues over transporting the children for contact visits. mediation might be worth offering with a view to resolving the issues over the children, and coming to an amicable agreement over contact arrangements. How old are your children?

I think I would be tempted to respond with something like " Thank you for your letter dated XXXX, the points contained within are noted by myself. I would be grateful if you could advise me as to a date when I can receive full financial details from your client." Others might disagree, but currently, there is no suggestion in the letter that his finances are to be forthcoming.

  • claireannette
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30 Sep 12 #358599 by claireannette
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We have been seperated officially since April and I took over all marital home and finances from the beginning of July. Although he still lived and worked from home until the end of July without contributing anything.
As for the children, he informed us all that he was moving to London next week with his girlfriend. Then proceeded to tell my 12 year old daughter it was all her fault ( she struggles with his new girlfriend and the fact that he leaves any parenting up to her. She wasn''t happy going there anyway and now doesn''t want to speak to him) as for my 15 year old son, he told him on the same day that my new partner didn''t want him at home, he panicked, packed his bags and left home. This was far from true but he struggles with ''normal'' relationships at the best of time. Myself and my new partner have now managed to reassure him and he came home but understandably he is very cross with his dad. My youngest is 7 and keeps asking why daddy is so mean to her siblings :-( I would never dream of stopping contact with him and transportation issues have been sorted, but I can''t make the older 2 see him and the youngest wasn''t happy to go without them. After all the trauma of Friday they all needed to calm down and have a family day together not be caused further upset. He had had past mental health issues and this is a real worry at the moment. He refused to help my son as did his family despite him asking and has since backtracked on his decision to move (only 1/2 hour or so after talking to my daughter) irrational and flitty are not strong enough words. After all the children have been through their dad needs to be strong and stable

  • NoWhereToTurnl
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30 Sep 12 #358601 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Hi Claire,

The divorce and Ancillary Remedies are two separate issues.

divorce petition:

One of you is the Applicant, the other the Respondent. The applicant files for divorce and gives the reasons why the marriage should be dissolved. The reasons range from adultery, unreasonable behaviour, two years separation or 5 years separation with out consent. Once the forms have been filled in they are filed with the court and a fee of £340. This link will explain it in detail:

www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensa...ngadivorce/DG_193735

Ancillary Remedies deals with the financial aspects of the marriage and divorce (the dividing of assets)and was called Ancillary Relief.

It appears that your stbx''s solicitor is requesting you to provide voluntary financial disclosure. When AR is applied for, both parties complete form E ( full financial disclosure) and exchange respective forms adhering to a timetable set by the court.

Many family lawyers will give an initial 30 min consultation free, it would be in your best interest to book on and see what is the best way to proceed in your situation.

Best wishes,

NWTT.

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30 Sep 12 #358625 by leanng
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Claire

You can answer the letter yourself. You do not need a solicitor for that but i would go seek your free solicitors advice before you do anything.

I would not be tempted to offer any financial details until you are sure of your own situation.

Use this site, ask lots of questions, people will help.

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