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The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

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Confirming an address?

  • jslgb
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01 Oct 12 #358775 by jslgb
Topic started by jslgb
My stbxh refuses to give me his address and has done for almost 2 years. He seems to think i will just turn up during his contact. Funnily enough, he is shacked up with someone who was once close to the family so i know the rough area and what cars they drive so should i ever have wanted to it wouldnt have taken much to drive there and find it! However, it has recently been made known to me his actual address. I know he isnt declaring living with his OW so he wont be on the electoral roll. Is there anyway i can clarify this is his address?

At present all his mail from my solicitor goes c/o his mothers address and he has ignored all communication. I am fully expecting to have to serve him the Petition in order for the Nisi to be granted and whilst i have his work address i assume they will need his home address too.

Any suggestions?

  • Bobbinalong
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01 Oct 12 #358777 by Bobbinalong
Reply from Bobbinalong
how much has it been needed up to now?
after 2 years not a lot.
and as you say you probably know where it is.
I wouldnt do anything further, but when you need to serve the papers, do you have to give them personally to him or just to the address, I cant remember, what you could do is, when you have the kids, have a babysitter for an hour and drop them in then, he wont be expecting you, or a friend so that you can be sure he comes to the door?
You dont ordinarily need to know, albeit you should especially when your kids are there, its generally good manners etc to let the other parent know where you are living for that purpose.
But like this when one is being awkward, best to just turn up for those things that are reqd.

  • jslgb
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01 Oct 12 #358779 by jslgb
Reply from jslgb
I have no intention of turning up at all! Like i said, i have known the general area for almost 2 years and never bothered to turn up. I dont need to.

The only reason i want to confirm it now is because i want a divorce and he is ignoring all communication from my solicitor to his parents address.

I wont be serving the papers myself if it gets to that point, i will go through the proper channels to get it done professionally. From what i can gather though it needs to be put in his hand and i am concerned that as he is not first port of call at his work they may shield him from it, thus needing further addresses for him.

  • u6c00
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01 Oct 12 #358781 by u6c00
Reply from u6c00
If all else fails you could try one of the following:

Send recorded delivery with a note on the envelope that states Strictly Private & Confidential, to be signed for by addressee only.

Scan and email.

Tell him that the divorce petition will be issued imminently and ask him how and where he would like to receive it.

Write to his solicitor and ask if they are instructed to accept service on his behalf.

Write to him directly at his mother''s address and ask him to provide an address for service.

Most of these options would allow you to apply for deemed service if he was difficult about it.

Is he really likely to be obstructive at this point? He knows the marriage is over, your daughter is settled etc. Does he stand to gain anything by evading service?

  • jslgb
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01 Oct 12 #358798 by jslgb
Reply from jslgb
He wont tell me his address at all. My solicitor has pointed out there is no point keeping it from me and he still refuses.

He hasnt got a solicitor. At no point during the almost 2 years separation has he bothered to go and see one and he refuses to pay for one. I think this is part of the reason he wont acknowledge i want a divorce. My solicitor has put feelers out and even sent stamped addressed envelopes so he isnt out of pocket and they all go ignored. We cant decide if he is ignoring it to try and get one over on me because i dont think he ever expected me to Petition for divorce, or because he doesnt want to have to pay.

We havent spoke about it either. Even when he is screaming in my face and shaking his fist at me he hasnt mentioned i want a divorce!!

OW must feel so lucky!! What a catch she has got herself!!

  • Fiona
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02 Oct 12 #358992 by Fiona
Reply from Fiona
The petition can be sent to his address if you know it, or his work. Then if there is no Acknowledgement of Service you can pay a process server to serve the papers personally. The process server can then verify service and the court can grant the divorce anyway.

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