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The family dog. What to tell a child

  • ayeayecapn
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05 Oct 12 #359507 by ayeayecapn
Topic started by ayeayecapn
Hello,

Please can you help with advice?

Not sure where to post this so will try here.

Our 10 year old dog is about to be rehormed next week because of our separation and impending divorce. Sadly, neither party can take on the pet due to accommodation not being appropriate.

Neither H or W are completely sure how to tell 5 yr old.

Do we 1. Tell the truth - cant have dog anymore, going to nice new home to make others happy or.....
2. Tell a white lie. Dog was poorly and vet put her to sleep. Death is finite and child has a concept of death.

We umm and arr because we don''t want child thinking ''if they can get rid of dog in all this, will they get rid of me?'' But also don''t really like the idea of lying.

A dilemna.

Would anyone like to chip in and help?

Thank you.

  • Serendipity100
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05 Oct 12 #359522 by Serendipity100
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In this current economic climate rates of dogs and all domestic pets having to leave and sent to animal centres, are reaching all time highs..... I happen to work at one as a volunteer, heartbreaking, but someone has to help

OP, You may find posting in ''relationships'' or ''depression and stress'' may garner more response as to your particular situation as to what to say to your child. Hope this helps

  • eyes on horizon
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05 Oct 12 #359523 by eyes on horizon
Reply from eyes on horizon
is there any family or friends that can take the dog?

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05 Oct 12 #359526 by Serendipity100
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Yes, Eyes, this would be the ideal solution. At 10, this dog will probably not be picked in any sort of rescue home: numbers are down anyway in those willing to rehome, and very sadly those that do, do not want older dogs. ( med bills, etc) Sadly, I see this all the time with my voluntary work. Such a shame: just another casualty of divorce.

  • rubytuesday
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05 Oct 12 #359532 by rubytuesday
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This must have been an incredibly difficult decision to reach for the OP, and we need to be sensitive to this, rather than make statements (even if they are true) that could make her feel worse :(

I think, given the age of your child, and that they would probably understand a "death" better than the pragmatic reasons of having to re-home, I would be inclined to tell the child what you think they would understand better.

I had to have our surviving cat re-homed due to having to sell the FMH, just a few months after our much-loved 16 yo cat had to be put to sleep - it was heartbreaking to make that decision, and even more heartbreaking seeing my daughters so upset when the cat was taken away.

I''m really sorry that you are having to make such a decision, on top of everything else; it must be very difficult.

Ruth

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05 Oct 12 #359535 by Serendipity100
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To get this thread back on track, this is all about what to tell your son. Sorry if I may have highjacked, and would like to make apologies to Aye Aye - it was not my intention to make you feel worse. This is all about what to tell your son, and sorry if I went off target there.

I appreciate difficult decision. I really do, and was replying to previous poster..... lost my focus and etiquette there. Apologies again to OP and now been put sitting on naughty corner by RT! Sorry, Aye and thank you RT. Just being a volunteer - anyway, a cause very close to my heart. But see, thanks to your imput here, RT what I may have said could have been couched in a more subtle way. Certahnly didn''t mean to cause any additional distress. Apols all round.

Thread now, if RT agrees, back on track as to what to tell OP''s son. I will not post on this thread again. ( and RT, how long to I have to sit on naughty step?! LOL) Thanks, I see I need to avoid any posts re issue of pets in future.)

Apologies once again to OP. sorry. I probably did make you feel worse. Totaly unintentional but do see RT''s point.

So back to you and your thread.

  • ayeayecapn
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05 Oct 12 #359541 by ayeayecapn
Reply from ayeayecapn
Thanks all.

Everyone forgiven for other views :)

The dog won''t be going to a rescue home or shelter. The rescue charity people are taking her straight from us to a new vetted family home so there''s no distress and is as smooth and stress free for the dog as possible.

Both the child and the dog are the innocent ''victims'' in this and neither H or W want any more distress than necessary.

It''s what to say to the child that''s the issue.

The death option seems favourable as there''s no ''hope'' for the child that they might one day be reunited once all this is over.

Your thoughts are still welcome.

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