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Divorce - threat from husband, any help available?

  • gd508
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13 Oct 12 #360731 by gd508
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Hi there,

I''m in need of some advice regarding a divorce that we are planning.

I''m not neither the husband nor wife. I am helping somebody to leave her husband (she wants to leave him) and go through the divorce process. But we think it might not be as smooth as we''d thought.

The several reasons are that there are children involved and property involved.

But that''s not our main concerns.. the one we (the woman and I) are worried is mainly the threat from the ex-husband to be. He threatens to do bad things to her if she leaves him.

The woman has already made her decision that she cant bear it and she will leave him.

We just wanted to know if there are any advice / support we can get to support her/us against the threat of the husband while we go through the divorce process and life after divorce.

Thanks in advance for your advice.

Regards
Roovs

  • rubytuesday
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13 Oct 12 #360732 by rubytuesday
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Welcome to Wikivorce.

I think the best advice you can give her is to join Wikivorce.

Does the husband know about your affair? His threats are probably borne from fear of him about to lose everything, his wife, his children and his home.

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13 Oct 12 #360734 by gd508
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Hi

Thanks a lot for the prompt reply.

Yes he is kind of aware of our affair but not seriously. We haven''t mentioned anything yet as we don''t want the situation to go out of hand before we get advice how to deal with it first.

Yes, his threat is mainly because of the fear of losing everything. And we know he can do things if he means it.

I have joined Wikivorce on her behalf. She is aware of everything I write/say here. She also will use the same account as me.

I have done some reading and I found that we could go for a civil court order (domestic violence) to protect her and the children for some time. Is that something that might help?

Thanks again.

Regards
Roovs

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13 Oct 12 #360738 by rubytuesday
Reply from rubytuesday

there are children involved and property involved.

But that''s not our main concerns.. the one we (the woman and I) are worried is mainly the threat from the ex-husband to be. He threatens to do bad things to her if she leaves him.


Its a bit worrying that the children aren''t the main concern here. Children should be the priority when a family breaks up, they should come first and their needs put above the needs of the adults involved.

Has there been any domestic violence in the marriage? Or are you suggesting that allegations are made as a way of removing the husband from the home? Threats caused by a fear of losing everything are not necessarily on the same level as domestic violence.

When a third party becomes involved in the ending of a marriage and the break-up of a family, it becomes messy, complicated and heated. My advice to you would be to provide emotional support, but to allow the wife and husband to deal with the end of their marriage and breaking up of the family in their own way, and in their own time.

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13 Oct 12 #360739 by Forseti
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Sorry, have I got this wrong? You are having an affair with a married woman and threatening to prevent her husband from continuing contact with his children. You have come onto Wikivorce, which provides support for large numbers of fathers struggling to maintain contact with their children in similar circumstances. Are you seriously asking whether we think making false allegations of domestic violence so you can appropriate someone else''s children is a good idea?

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13 Oct 12 #360742 by rubytuesday
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I have joined Wikivorce on her behalf. She is aware of everything I write/say here. She also will use the same account as me.


When two people use the same account, it causes great confusion for those trying to help and work out which of the "couple" is posting. I suggest that your partner opens her own account, membership is free.

  • gd508
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13 Oct 12 #360743 by gd508
Reply from gd508
Actually the main concern is also the welfare and needs of the children. We are fully aware of this. We will take care of their needs via solicitor advice.

But for now we were just worried on how to deal with the threat first.

No we are not trying to remove the husband from the home. The woman wants to leave. She has made her decision and of course they will sort out what they will do with the property later.

Yes there has been some domestic violence in the marriage but not physical. She cant bear it any longer.

Yes I also agree with you that a third party involved may make things heated up.

Thanks.

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