Divorce Lies

I couldn''t t care less about the ex .... Yes you could . You will always care until the day you die

I don''t want to meet anyone and I''m never getting married again ....means yes you do and yes you might . You are saying this to protect yourself because you are afraid that you may never meet someone. You would not be human if you did not care about love .

When I was married , I was really happy or When I was married , I was really miserable. .. Equates to when you were married you were both . You were happy at certain times , so don''t be afraid to remember those times , and you were miserable for some of it , more towards the end . Remembers that too it reinforces the necessity of divorcec.

I hate dating ... No you don''t you hate bad dates . Good dates make dating really , really fun .

The thought of having sex with another woman is repulsive .... Really ? I don''t think so . It just takes time. You will eventually meet or see some woman who will make your heart stop and you will remember that you liked sex.

My life is so messed up thanks to my ex ..... Stop feeling sorry for yourself and fix your life yourself.

My wedding day was the best day of my life ..... No it wasn''t . Otherwise, you would still be married . Don''t be afraid to see what you did not see back then .

I don''t care what people think about me getting divorced ... Yes we do , but we shouldn''t .

I love my new life ..... It''s okay to say this sucks ... We all know you aren''t blissful at the moment .myou will love your life. It just takes time .


If I could just meet someone my life will fall into place .... Reverse that . Work on your life ,career , kids hobbies and yourself . When that falls into place , you will meet someone .

Everyone knows the divorce was ex fault .... For as many people who are telling you it was your ex fault , there are many people telling your ex it was yours. Get over it . Who cares what people think .

I hate when I am not with my kids ......you don''t hate it all the time.msometimes you welcome the break.being alone offers reprieve from stress .. Don''t feel guilty if you enjoy time without your kids .mdoing nice things for yourself and having some fun that does not involve your kids makes you a better parent .

I know my ex will regret this someday..... No she won''t . Accept it . It does not really matter .



There has to be more lies we tell ourselves . I find living in the truth hard . I am finding it is getting easier though . To live in the truth is to be free of the pain .

D

I''ve said I will never get married again, yes I mean it and yes I know with 100% certainty I will never remarry. My marriage has been a god awful experience, it served no purpose other than bringing stress into my life.

Hi
Ruby

I understand where you are coming from . I have told myself those lies . And now I see the truth . I do not need anyone to make me whole and complete . I am fine as I am . A bit battered and scarred , however I wear them with pride .
You see ,mince I accepted the truth it became easier to get my head around it all . Or maybe I have been doing that for the last few years and not realised it .
Kadafi .... You say you will never marry again . Will you date another woman and live with another woman. Or , are you saying that''s it .you are done
If you become involved with another woman you still have emotions going on whether or not you marry . Know what I think I will . However, this time it will be for the right reason with the right person .
I have to build my life first become the person I am meant to be . I accept me as I am now I am ok with that . However, I still have goals to achieve . One being my passion for music , oh boy ain''t that good .
Kadafi , as the Beatles said in a song it''s a sad one who makes his world smaller

D

Like Kadafi I would not get married again.
That one bit of paper somehow allows one person to have control over another.
Live with someone ? Currently no. Be in another relationship...I am in one.

I believe my x made my world smaller. I lost contact with my old circle of friends as they did with me concentrating on their own lives.

She certainly did. We had a reasonable social group with whom....shall we say ''''she took advantage of''''. I never did actually find out the number of affairs she had.

It was her lies that killed my reputation in order to protect hers. I will never forget the female friend who said (relayed to me) ''''screw the b***stard for every penny you can get''''. Yes she admitted years later that she had told everyone that I had beaten her up regularly.(complete lies)

I spent a year trying to analyse what went wrong torturing myself.

My confidence returned when I found out other people did actually like me.
They laugh when I tell them what she accused me of and how she tried to destroy all aspects of my life .

So now I take the view that I will only have people in my life who I can trust and quite honestly my life is better for that.

Perfect? Certainly not me but with a circle of old trusted friends and new ones I recovered and I will not be put in the position of placing my faith so much in one person that they have the power to destroy.

I am grateful to those who held my hand and had faith in me.

PS by pure chance I found a pile of old divorce papers yesterday. Over a foot high.
A quick flick though made me realise what a scam I had fallen for.

Declan

I look back and realise how foolish and naive I was to get married when I did, I had no experience with marriage and didn''t know anyone who had been through divorce that could have put a little sense into me. Now is the time I must learn by this and never make that mistake again, meaning no more marriage. Will I date again? Yes I will, will I cohabit with another women? Possibly but I would access the situation at that time.

As polar States "that one bit of paper somehow allows one person to have control over the other". I purchased my house 13 years ago, I have put blood, sweat and tears transforming the house. All the work I have done by myself, added an extension with manual help from my family (dad and brother) new kitchen, bathroom etc and have always paid all the bills. Now my stbx has a rights order so she doesn''t have to leave, for 11 months my son has had to sleep with me in my bed. Any friends or family of mine don''t come round anywhere near the amount of time they usually would because of the awkward situation. These are 11 months I will never get back, no divorce in sight and will likely go on at least 2 years before it all sorted. I''m 35 so probably still at that awkward age where a lot of women I come across are either looking for marriage or to start a family and not casual dating. Also I dread the thought of having to tell anyone I''m living with my stbx, so my
Life is on complete hold (valuable time I''ve lost) all I want is to feel in control again.

Finally as the saying goes "as soon as the ink dries on the paper, say bye to 50% of your assets. After divorce, I will keep this quote written by my bed so I''m reminded every time I wake up in the morning.

Hi Guys,

Do you know what I think we have to stop looking back.

Yes my divorce was one of the most painful things I went through in my life and it took a lot of courage to get that far.

I''m nearly 5 years on very scarred from it but looking back in my case was is just wasted energy.

I was one of those ones who went through the dating experience and oh boy was it an eye opener but it was fun.I too was one who never wanted to get married again but am now engaged.

I''m 5 years older and hell am I wiser but never say never!