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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Filing for unreasonable behaviour

  • Red12345
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20 May 20 #512487 by Red12345
Topic started by Red12345
Hi, just doing my divorce papers. So hard coming up with 4/5 reasons! my ex had an affair and wanted to leave so those 2 reasons I hoped would be enough. any advice would be appreciated!

  • Trailsloth
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21 May 20 - 21 May 20 #512502 by Trailsloth
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dont know if it helps but I guess if the ex had an affair you might be saying that there was behaviour leading up to that that was unreasonable - being cold/unsympathetic hurting your feelings by belittling you, failing to show intimacy, if you pin those to particular events/dates?
Alternatively why are you not filing for adultery if thats what happened - newbie to all this and not an expert/professional in this field so there may be good reasons for that. If your ex doesn't care about what you put then you can be as vauge as you like I guess.

Hope that helps.
Last edit: 21 May 20 by Trailsloth. Reason: second thoughts to add

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21 May 20 #512505 by rubytuesday
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Unreasonable behaviour can be just about anything - from violent and abusive conduct to leaving the toilet seat up. The most commonly used examples are:

Lack of an intimate relationship

Lack of communication

Lack of a shared social life

Lack of emotional support

The Respondent engaging in a hobby that takes him./her away from the marriage too often

Working too much

Lack of shared interests

Not helping with household chores

Not participating in family events

and so on.

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22 May 20 #512513 by Trailsloth
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23 May 20 #512529 by Red12345
Reply from Red12345
Thanks for your help. I understood that with adultery you have to send papers to the person they had the affair with (i have no idea of their personal details) and also you have to prove they had sex - how to prove that I have no idea!!

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23 May 20 #512530 by Red12345
Reply from Red12345
Thanks, that is really helpful

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23 May 20 #512531 by rubytuesday
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Unless you have a written admission from your spouse or hard proof such as photographic evidence of the act, or an established pregnancy or child as a result of the affair, it is best avoid using adultery. If the respondent refutes the adultery you would have to amend your petition to behaviour.

You don't have to have the petition served on the third party unless you have named them as a co respondent. Not a good idea to do so as you will then also be relying on their admittance of adultery. They would also be named on your Decree Absolute.

You can cite that the respondent had an inappropriate relationship with a third party as one of your behaviour examples.

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