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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

The Respondent is trying to delay Decree Absolute

  • StrangeWorld
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02 Feb 21 #515605 by StrangeWorld
Topic started by StrangeWorld
Dear members,

I find this web site very informative and it is clear that you have a lot of knowledge and experience relating to divorces. I really need your advise - I am heart broker and don't know what to do.

I have been married to my wife for 11 years. In June of last year I applied for a divorce on the basis of Unresonable Behaviour and she was against it and said that she would make my life miserable and would delay the divorce for as long as she can.

She went to the police and filed a report stating that I was bulling her by sending her a lot of Viber messages. In reality, she stopped talking to me when I filed for the divorce and all I was trying to do by the Viber messages was to agree on how we would manage the child together. She also went to the doctor and got a letter that she was depressed. Ultimately, she got a Non Molestation Order.

She child resides with her and she only allows me to talk to him once in few weeks. I have prepared a child maintenance Agreement stating how much I would be paying every month and highlighting some of the rights that I want to have relating to the child (daily calls/opportunity to travel with him etc.). I have asked her to sign it on multiple occasions and she did not respond. I live abroad at the moment but am a UK citizen.

Coming back to the divorce, of course, she defended it. There was a hearing and all she said on the hearing to the Judge was "I agree to the divorce and have nothing to add". The Judge has issued a Decree Nisi and the 43 days period ended at the beginning of this year.

I have filed for the Decree Absolute. I called the Court yesterday and they said that the Respondent has objected against it on the basis that I do not make child/wife maintenance payments, which is only part of the truth - I do not pay because she doesn't want to sign child maintenance Agreement, which would give me more rights and an opportunity to be a father of my son. She also asked the court to cancel the Decree Nisi. The hearing is set for next week.

What are the chances that the Judge can cancel the Decree Nisi? What are the chances that the Judge can delay the Decree Absolute? What is your opinion with regards to the hearing?

Thank you for your support!

  • .Charles
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02 Feb 21 #515610 by .Charles
Reply from .Charles
There are two issues here.

Firstly, the divorce has nothing to do with children therefore opposing the Decree Absolute on the basis of child maintenance is doomed to failure.

Secondly, paying child maintenance/having a child maintenance agreement does not effect the 'rights and an opportunity to be a father of my son'.

Paying child maintenance does not equal contact to the child. It's not pay-per-view. It is the child's right to see an absent parent, not the other way around. Maintenance payments are calculated using a financial calculation with adjustments e.g. a reduction based upon shared care.

If contact with an absent parent is deemed unsuitable it can be constrained of curtailed completely but maintenance payments which sill be payable, such as they are deemed to be made.


  • StrangeWorld
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02 Feb 21 #515611 by StrangeWorld
Reply from StrangeWorld
Charles, thank you so much for your comments - for people like myself, your thoughts are priceless.

If I may ask - considering what you have said above, why would a judge arrange a hearing, if he/she knows in advance that the Respondent does not have sufficient basis to stop the Decree Absolute? Should it not be the case that the Respondent has to submit a strong set of arguments before the issuance of the DA and the Judge would then consider them and make a decision whether a hearing is needed or not?

I was always of the opinion that if the parties do not have any assets that need to be divided - deposits, property, pensions etc., then the Respondent has no chance to stop the Court from issuing a Decree Absolute.

  • hadenoughnow
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03 Feb 21 - 03 Feb 21 #515620 by hadenoughnow
Reply from hadenoughnow
There has to be a short hearing so the judge can hear both sides of the case.

It is usual for there to be a financial settlement in place ahead of Decree Absolute. This is because it affects things like home rights and pensions.

This would be the case even if there are no assets to divide or reasonable case for spousal maintenance.

Providing there really are no assets, home rights etc, the judge may be inclined to grant the Decree Absolute. It doesn't end her claim though, that remains open so it is a good idea to sort out a financial settlement.

If there are children to consider, their needs will be a priority.

Last edit: 03 Feb 21 by hadenoughnow.

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