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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Messy Separation, don't know where to start . . .

  • Friendtoalldogs
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19 Jul 21 #517302 by Friendtoalldogs
Topic started by Friendtoalldogs
Hi all,

Apologies in advanced for my incoherent ramble, but so much has happened I just don't know where to start. I'm sure I've probably missed off plenty of information so please feel free to ask anything.

Have been visiting Wikivorce for a while but this is my first post. I'm really just asking for some impartial advise and possibly just being pointed in the right direction.

I'm at my wits end as to what to do and it's having and has had a huge affect on my mental health.

Left my wife coming up to 4 years ago and we are still legally married. There is zero communication between us as things got very messy. She was issued with a restraining order which has since expired and I have tried to communicate to sort things but this isn't working at all.

Current situation is as follows -

No children, married for just under 10 years together for approx 17.

Work - I work full time (30hrs) and bringing home £14,500 annually. She has said she isn't working since August 2019 but I am not sure how true this is.

marital home - Currently valued around £200,000 with £65,000 Mortgage left. Wife still, as far as I'm aware, still resides here. She has, since January, refused to pay her half of the Mortgage so I'm having to pay the full balance. Have made mortgage company aware and I'm obviously liable for full payments as is joint mortgage.

Inherited Property - I inherited my Grandmothers property towards the end of the marriage (October 2017) and this is where I moved to when I ended the relationship. It was valued, for Inheritance tax purposes at £215,000 in 2017. Going off Zoopla valuation now (which I understand is a very tough figure) it is currenty valued at £380,000 and is Mortgage free. Have been told by a Solicitor previously that this should be ringfenced from Marital finances as was inherited close to the end of the marriage and was not mingled in our finances. I do understand this isn't a guarentee though.

Debts - I have approximately £25,000 in debt across loans and credit cards accrued after we seperated. She has also said that she has a £20,000 debt in the form of a loan, also after seperation.

I am now looking at moving out of my property and renting it out as a means to try and keep up with the mortgage payments and clear my debt. Would I be allowed to do this?

I have been told by Solicitors that if this went to court I could be looking at about £50,000 in legal fees if she isn't amicable. I obviously have nowhere near that sort of money.

I'm at the stage now where I can barely afford to live and I just don't know what to do. I've looked at getting a mortgage on the inherited property but I've been told I don't qualify. I'm maxed out of Credit Cards and Loans and am in a proper bad place.

Any advise on what the next best logical step would be would be hugely appreciated.

  • mirage63
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19 Jul 21 #517305 by mirage63
Reply from mirage63
Are you still married? If so I would be more concerned about the inherited property being part of the financial pot.

Also get the form E started so you know exactly what her income is. You can then decide whether she can afford to pay the mortgage on the FMH.

There's nothing stopping you moving out of your inherited property but how much extra would it achieve? Its another thing to worry about. How about a lodger to help share costs?

One thing is certain, don't carry on as you are. You need to find out exactly what assets, savings and debts she has.

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19 Jul 21 - 19 Jul 21 #517306 by Friendtoalldogs
Reply from Friendtoalldogs
Hi Mirage,

Many thanks for your reply.

Yes we are still married and have not yet even started the divorce proceedings due to lack of funds.

How do you see the Inherited property being part of the pot? Do you mean because I would potentially be renting it out and the finances from that? I solely inherited the property and I'm the only named person on the land registry.

Pardon my ignorance but what is the form E, is this something I can start myself without the need for legal help?

As for moving out and renting the property out it would give me a healthy cash injection every month that I could then use to start to pay off debt and start to hopefully fund a divorce. Without doing this, in the next couple of months I reach a point where I can't afford to pay anything. Hence my desperation. I had thought about a lodger but not sure if it would bring enough in. I certainly don't want to rent out if I can help it, it's my home but I'm very desperate.

Many thanks again for your reply, given me some food for thought.
Last edit: 19 Jul 21 by Friendtoalldogs.

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16 Sep 21 - 16 Sep 21 #517726 by Friendtoalldogs
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So a new development and more advice needed please.

We have agreed via text message to sell the marital property and for her to keep the entire proceed of the sale, minus Solicitor and Estate agent fees obviously. I will then keep the home I inherited and reside in.

We are looking to do this before either the divorce or Consent Order and really just want to know where I stand. Should I be looking at getting something, legally binding in writing that she can sign to say she has agreed to the above?

Is there anything else I should be doing, or be aware of selling the property before divorcing?

Many thanks in advanced.
Last edit: 16 Sep 21 by Friendtoalldogs.

  • hadenoughnow
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09 Oct 21 - 09 Oct 21 #517876 by hadenoughnow
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Sorry you have had to wait for a response.
I think you need to take a deep breath and get some advice on what is fair here.
Are there pensions or other assets to be considered?

You really need full financial disclosure - which is what completing a form E would give you.

You also really need some legal advice and to obtain a legally binding financial settlement to stop future claims. To get that you need a Decree Nisi in place.

If you have an agreement and want to act before that, you should get a Separation Agreement drawn up. This isnt legally binding but could be upheld by a court if it is done properly.

It may be worth having a chat with the helpline or email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. to find out the most cost effective way to get the advice you need including a Separation Agreement.

Hadenoughnow
Last edit: 09 Oct 21 by hadenoughnow.

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09 Oct 21 #517878 by Friendtoalldogs
Reply from Friendtoalldogs
Hi Hadenoughnow,

Many thanks for your response.

Things moved on a bit since my last post.

House has been put on the market and we recently accepted an offer. Again, she will be retaining all of the money from the sale of the marital property (£165k) with the view of using this to then pay for the divorce and Consent Order.

Just hoping now she sticks to the agreement and I keep the home I live in and she keeps the equity from the sale.

From my understanding, what we have agreed will have to be declared and the courts still have to decide if it's fair when we have applied for our Consent Order?

We both have pensions but nothing substantial at all.

Any further advice going forward? I can't afford any legal representation, at all, so am just hoping this can now be as amicable as possible.

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10 Oct 21 #517880 by mirage63
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Is she buying another property with the proceeds of sale of the FMH?

I'd be worried (and i'm just somebody whose partner went through the divorce process, separated Sept 2017,but only just at the Consent Order stage) that she takes the money, spends/hides much of it, doesn't clear her loan and then comes back for your inherited property for a share at a later date when the money is gone. I think you need to protect that money,delay the sale until you are divorced and have a signed Consent Order that says she is getting the FMH and you are keeping your inherited property to live in.

I believe divorce proceedings need to be at least at nisi stage before you can start the financial proceedings and that could take several months. A lot could happen in that time scale.She has already back tracked on paying half the mortgage, claims not to be working and that she has debts of her own in the form of a loan, which you have no proof of, possibly as an excuse not to pay her share of mortgage.She knows you cannot afford to pay for a divorce and Consent Order and is promising to pay for them but again I would be wary.

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