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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Messy Separation, don't know where to start . . .

  • Friendtoalldogs
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12 Oct 21 #517895 by Friendtoalldogs
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Hi Mirage,

Many thanks again for your informative reply.

I'm honestly not sure what she intends to do with the proceeds of the sale of the FMH, it will give her £165k minus fees for Solicitor, Estate Agents etc. She has said she intends to then use some of the money to apply for the divorce and Consent Order which I am obviously hoping she does.

I completely agree with your concerns and is something that has crossed my mind, numerous times. There have been lots of red flags but I wasn't sure what else I could do, as I can't afford any other option.

With selling the FMH I now won't have to worry about the mortgage payments at least, which is a slight relief. But, exactly as you point out, I am gravely concerned with the fact that she may still come after my inherited property. I have the proof of text messages as to what we had agreed, but not sure how much merit they would hold, from a legal stand point, should this eventually end up in court.

If she does do as you speculate and spends all of the proceeds, would I not have a case, if it went to court, that she had all of that money and carelessly spent it? From what I've read, courts can take a very dim view of assets or money being purposefully whittled away, as long as that can be proved, obviously. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

I will keep this thread updated as it's helping me in a big way to be able to sound off and get people thoughts on the matter.

Many thanks again for the replies so far, any further thoughts, guidance and/or advice is hugely appreciated.

  • mirage63
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13 Oct 21 #517904 by mirage63
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If you are still married then she could say anything, may be claim that the house was sold as you were going to live together in the inherited property (sorry I am very much a pessimist where divorce is involved).

And what if she doesn't clear the mortgage and you are left with that amount outstanding. Will the money go to you first so you can make sure all of these are covered before handing the balance over and a proportion taken to cover your costs without relying on her to hand it over? You have nothing in writing, still married and all of this money could be 'gone'.

I believe there are solicitors that can be paid from the proceeds of a sale of a house if there is enough equity (my partners ex W is doing this claiming she cannot afford to pay anymore costs). I would definitely seek advice (initial half hour free)before a sale.

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13 Oct 21 - 13 Oct 21 #517905 by mirage63
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Just to add, there's only £135.000 equity left in the house after mortgage is paid and then a few thousand sale costs so around £132,000. Then possibly a further £2000 for the divorce and Consent Order which you could take upfront. She then gets £130.000 to clear her debts and buy another property in her sole name, would this be enough?

As has already been said could you get a Separation Agreement drawn up quickly. This would state the property is being sold and proceeds of sale, minus discharging the mortgage and all selling costs, given to her for alternative housing and this would at least alleviate the costs of the mortgage for you.

How are you going to clear your own debts in the meantime? Can you afford to make the minimum payments from your salary? The other thing is contact the mortgage company and let them know you are struggling to pay and they may be helpful.
Last edit: 13 Oct 21 by mirage63.

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14 Oct 21 #517913 by Friendtoalldogs
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Still married but we have lived apart for coming up to 4 years now, me in my inherited home and her in the FMH. Surely she couldn't then claim the house was sold with the idea of us both moving in the inherited property, could she? She had a restraining order applied to her also so she wasn't able to come anywhere near me or my property.

I'm also in communication with both the Estate Agents and Solicitors, and the Solicitors have been instructed that from the proceeds of the sale the current mortgage needs to be paid, as well as other associated costs, so hopefully that won't be a problem.

The house sold for more than expected so she will be left with £165k after the remaining mortgage has been paid, obviously minus costs. Which I would think would be enough for a suitable property or a substantial deposit.

I'm already in an agreement with the mortgage company to make interest only payments (until January 2022) by which time I'm hoping the mortgage should have been paid via the sale. Have to say the mortgage company have been amazingly helpful and understanding.

Currently making minimum payments on my debts but come January with the house also being sold, I should be in a much better place to make more substantial payments.

I'm going to see about getting my property valued again soon so I will have a better idea come time for the Consent Order. My understanding is this all still has to be approved by the courts. Do you think this seems like a fair settlement for both of us? I left the FMH with just my clothes and a few other personal items and left her with everything else. I had been told prior by a Solicitor that should I want to fight this in court, they expected that the inherited property would be ring fenced and I would be entitled to my half of the equity from the FMH, so I'm hopeful that with what we have decided now, this is a fair settlement for both of us.

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