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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.

Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.

What to do next?

  • Wunderwoman34
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28 Aug 21 #517575 by Wunderwoman34
Topic started by Wunderwoman34
I am in utter turmoil. My husband and I separated at Christmas with him moving out at Easter. I have talked to him about divorce, having emailed him about it earlier just so he knew where I was. We're trying to be civilised. He said it's come as a shock, me wanting to divorce just yet. I've talked to him about agreeing on the reasons why, that things won't ever go backwards, that I'm really struggling with the concept of being married when it's now only in name. I just don't think I can hang on for a full 2 year separation, that feels so long. The marriage is well and truly over, has been for some time.

He has played some emotional games over the past few months, subtle but there, and it's made me panicky about what will happen next if we don't go down the route of divorce yet, panicky when I read texts from him (always and only about our daughter) as I don't know how he'll be. But neither do I want to create more pain (even though I know it's going to be a painful journey).

Since the no-fault bill has been put back twice so far, I'm skeptical it will happen next April and not get delayed yet again. But should I wait for this, somehow, in the hope it'll happen then? Or carry on along the route I'm on now, to try to get some closure to this very painful situation, so we might both be able to start moving on and healing. We have been married 22 years but became just like brother and sister in the end, possibly not even that. I am so confused.

  • hadenoughnow
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30 Aug 21 #517585 by hadenoughnow
Reply from hadenoughnow
Welcome to Wikivorce but sorry you find yourself here.

Before you rush into anything it is a good idea to understand the process of divorce and financial settlement so you can start to form a picture of what you future may look like. He may have been planning his departure for a ling time; you need time to get used to it.

How old is your daughter? If she is under 18 it may be an idea to sort out a settlement while her needs will still be considered.

If you don't want to divorce just yet, you can still go through a financial disclosure process and have a Separation Agreement drawn up. This can be converted into a legally binding Consent Order when you do actually divorce.

You may find it helpful to seek support from an organisation like Relate to help you deal with the emotional side of things.

You could also consider using some of the other practical support offered by this site.


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