A well respected, award winning social enterprise
Volunteer run - Government and charity funded
We help 50,000 people a year through divorce

01202 805020

Lines open: Monday to Friday 9am-5pm
Call for FREE expert advice & service info


What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Need V Want

  • SHW
  • SHW's Avatar Posted by
  • New Member
  • New Member
More
28 Sep 21 #517797 by SHW
Topic started by SHW
Please could you advise if this would be considered as a need or a want?

My husband and I are to be divorced. We have lived to get her for 23 years but only married for just over 10 years. We have 2 children 16&17 both in college.
My husband wants to keep the family home as he can afford to do this and I cannot. He is by far the greater earner. He believes we should split everything 50/50 with no financial ties and will not entertain anything outside of this.
My daughter has a horse which my husband believes we should sell as he is not prepared to help cover the costs for her hobby going forward. However he wants to maintain shared costs 50/50 for all the children's other existing costs. (Car and insurance for both, phones, gym memberships and in the future university accommodation cost for both).

Firstly, is it reasonable for him to decide what is to be kept going and what is not. I feel
it would be very hard for my daughter to loose her horse. He does not agree. If it was unaffordable, I would understand, however, this is something I know is affordable and I believe very important to my daughter.

Secondly, in order for myself to be able to
afford a three bedroom property in the area we live in, close to the children’s college, I would not have enough money to live off and certainly not enough to maintain the children’s current/future costs 50/50.
We plan to agree a 50//50 split for the care of the children, is it reasonable for me to expect to be able to provide a home with enough bedrooms for my children in the area we currently live in order for them to access college, friend, gyms etc. or is it reasonable for me to have to move out of the area, quite some miles away in order to afford a property and still have enough funds to live off? Is it considered a need to stay in the area or a want?
I feel if I had to move far away, it would make getting to college very challenging for the children whilst staying with me, as would getting to their gym and meeting their friends etc. I suspect my husband would prefer for them to stay with him 100% and would be quite happy if I was forded to move miles away.
I believe this would not be in the best interest of the children for me to be so far away as I have traditionally been the main care provider. Would it therefore be reasonable to need a larger % settlement with some maintenance in order to be able to stay locally for my children and therefore be able to maintain a standard of living?

My husbands means could well afford this without limiting him unreasonably in my opinion.

Thank you for your advice.

  • Rickoshea
  • Rickoshea's Avatar
  • Platinum Member
  • Platinum Member
More
28 Sep 21 #517798 by Rickoshea
Reply from Rickoshea
You probably should seek advice as soon as you can to at least understand your position. From the few details you have given it sounds like your husband will be in for a rude awakening if he genuinely thinks it may be 50/50. However we don't have enough bar knowing he earns considerably more and can house himself without too much issue.

Your Daughters horse is probably way down the list of things you should be considering. Also if you are intending splitting costs going forward you are again in a weakened position as once both of them transition past 18 years of age their position in the settlement changes. Getting an initial hour with a solicitor or ringing the helpline here with details of your wages, savings, assets, pensions, housing needs, spending per month etc. would be a starting point to at least understand how it starts to work in the whole process

Moderators: wikivorce teamrubytuesdaydukeyhadenoughnowTetsSheziLinda SheridanForsetiMitchumWhiteRoseLostboy67WYSPECIALBubblegum11