Hi allI’m so muddled and desperately need some advice. Throughout my divorce my ex husband has been very good at ignoring me, not replying to messaging and generally going quiet for months.At the start we agreed on what was happening with our property, his mum was helping him to buy me out, debts and pensions would stay individual. As I left him I felt bad and said I would pay for the divorce and fees to transfer the ownership of the house to him, pretty straight forward. I applied for the divorce and ordered the Consent Order from Wikivorce on 2nd August as we both agreed, it took a long time for my ex to complete his financial details of the questionnaire especially things he should know like monthly wages and credit card debts. Once he finally did the form the solicitor said we needed specific amounts on the order not just a percentage so I arranged for estate agents to value the house which took a few weeks and it seems like the house has increased significantly in value. Where his mum thought he would need 10-15k it might be more than 30k, when we had the last valuation done he said to me that he didn’t think it should be 50/50 as he has been paying the mortgage since we separated 3 years ago, I was still paying the bills in the property until September last year and even if you take off the bills and half the mortgage the equity is still going to be around 30k. The most frustrating thing is that if he didn’t ignore me for so long the house could’ve been put in his name a long time ago.As it’s gone on for so long and lack of communication I said he has two weeks to decide what he can do, either buy me out or we’ll have to sell, those two weeks was up on Saturday and yet again he is ignoring me. I messaged him and said I would start doing the financial order where the court will decide but when I asked my solicitor for an estimated cost she said the court won’t do anything if we haven’t explored mediation but how can we do mediation if he doesn’t communicate and ignores me. During last year he also lost his job and he has been working nights for a couple of months, he says he works, sleeps and eats and has no other time to do anything else and hardly has any days off, he has a lot of excuses.Even when I say it could cost us thousands to sort out if the court decides how our finances are split this still doesn’t push him to sort it all out, I just want this all done now and to be able to move into my own place as a opposed to renting 1 room.
Sorry for the long post, does anyone have any advice?
Is the total equity in the house 30k or is it 60k so he would pay 30k to buy you out? Are there other assets to decide on?
In terms of a way forward, you are unfortunately stuck not being able to do anything with the house unless he agrees. To force the situation you would have to apply to court but you'd need to go to a mediator first. If one party refuses to co-operate, the mediator will sign a form to say you tried. Then you can go to court. But bear in mind the time and cost of that. My partner is 18 months into a court process and the costs of that are already more than 30k between them. So, if the only asset is the house equity and that's only 30k, it'll all get used up in legal costs of a court case.
But equally a judge might not approve a Consent Order if a split doesn't seem fair. It's a no win situation half the time sadly.
Thanks for your reply, the equity is about 70k so my half would be around 30, we don’t have any other assets the pensions we do have are just standard ones nothing major and have no children so it’s just the house. He knows the court costs would be extremely high and he is no position to obtain and pay for a solicitor so I don’t understand why he doesn’t just want to get it all done. My house is shared ownership and I can’t buy another shared ownership property until this is all sorted, the whole thing is so stressful, I suppose going through wikivorce for the financial order would be more expensive as well?
We’ve now gone through a mediator and he has told them he doesn’t need their services and he wants to resolve financial matters directly with me, that was over 3 weeks ago and I’ve still heard nothing. Is going to court expensive if you use solicitors? I was going to represent myself but not sure whether to use wikivorce for help with the initial form