During my ongoing divorce my daughter (8 when we split, now 9) has come out with a couple of classic lines which have made me want to cry with laughter, but as she wouldn't understand, I have had to hold in until I have gone into another room.
The best one was about a year ago.
Here is the back ground - ex2b had an affair which I found out about - she wanted him, not me - it was a crap marraige, so I was OK with it and she agreed to shared care 50/50 so I was happy that I would be with my children half the time. I didn't tell the kids about her affair as it would have caused them more problems.
In the nine months before I found out about her affair, we moved out of the FMH and had it gutted and refurbished. We moved back in April 06 to a semi finished - but not decorated home. I found out about her affair and moved out in Nov 06. After a few weeks ex2b gets bloke she had an affair with round to house and tells the kids \"he is a friend for the sports club who has come to do some building and decorating\". After a few more weeks she starts to go out \"on dates\" with him and he becomes her \"boyfriend\". In May 07 she moves him in to the FMH, so he is there all the time when the kids are with her.
A couple of weeks later, my daughter was with me for the week says to me - \"Dad. You know builders? When they finish a job do they go home or do they always just hang around?\"
The poor darling still hadn't realised that he was there for good. I gave her a massive hug and told her \"some do go home, but some stay around\".
A year on she seems to be happy with the situation she is living in and her and her brother seem to have adjusted very well to the split.
Have any of your kids come out with any classic innocent lines?
I'd been away for the weekend with friends and we'd stopped at services for a meal.
When we were sat eating the older boy (my godson) said to me, why don't u like stbx anymore? I just said simply cos he's been fibbing to me. My friends youngest (4) then piped up ' is it because he's fat!'
Needless to say, I had a good laugh. Out of the mouths of babes! The little'un didn't even know what was so funny.
At the time of the separation a new TV drama started and poster were all over the town. You saw two men and a woman and the classic line: \"Why is it called adultery, it was the most childish thing I ever did\" My then 11 year loocked at it and remarked dryly..\"Now that would be a nice picture for Daddys new bedroom\"
lol, err yep, my little 8 yr old can add his tuppence worth in on this one. He's very bright, very aware and knows whats going on so the other day, when he saw me upset he said \"dont worry Daddy, if mummy gets another boyfreind, i'll kick his f**kin a*se outta there\". Bless, hes such a little trooper, loves his Dad and has ADHD as well.............God help her.
I was in a park last year with my kids..A little girl maybe 7 or 8 was walking around by herself looking lost. Being a responsible individual I approached her with my kids and asked if she was ok. She said 'Have you seen my booby?'
Taken aback I asked where her parents where..
She said she didnt know and asked again if I had seen her booby.
Her mum and dad turned up a minute later with their family pet, you guessed it the dog was called booby....
Imagine standing at the back door shouting that !!!!