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Fathers Day

  • jslgb
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15 Jun 12 #336846 by jslgb
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Just wondering how everyone approaches ''special'' days like fathers day?

My daughter will be spending tomorrow with her dad as per our arrangement. He did ask last minute to swap but - harsh as it seems- for a number of reasons i said no. One of these reasons being that stbxh''s ex wife doesnt let him have his eldest on fathers day so he ends up spending the day with her, her family and her new husbands extended family. If my daughter goes tomorrow she gets to spend the dad with her dad (and his gf who doesnt seem to have a life away from him!) as opposed to a bunch of strangers and being passed pillar to post.

I will, however, be spending the day baking my delicious triple chocolate muffins for my daughter to give to her dad to go with a special card she has made at school. Even though stbxh ignores all my daughters pleas to take her shopping to get mummy things for birthdays/mothers day etc i remain the bigger person and refuse to upset my daughter by buying into petty squabbles!!

  • happyagain
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15 Jun 12 #336848 by happyagain
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The day belongs to my exh to do with as he likes. It is not officially ''his'' weekend but our daughter will be available to see him from dawn till dusk on father''s day because it is his day. What he chooses to do with her on this day is nothing to do with me.
Just a thought though jslgb, how does your daughter feel about not seeing her older sibling? Father''s day would have been an ideal time for them to spend time together with their dad, regardless of where that contact takes place.

  • maisymoos
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15 Jun 12 #336849 by maisymoos
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Good for you.

I have my children this weekend, he had them on the mothers day weekend. Just one of those things. The Children and I just celebrated a week early. I figured trying to negiotiate a swap would have just resulted in a bitter email battle!

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15 Jun 12 #336851 by jslgb
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happyagain wrote:

Just a thought though jslgb, how does your daughter feel about not seeing her older sibling? Father''s day would have been an ideal time for them to spend time together with their dad, regardless of where that contact takes place.


She only see''s her sister on a fortnightly basis anyway so she doesnt expect to see her this weekend. I did ask my daughter what she wanted to do and she said she would rather see her dad tomorrow where she can spend the day with just him and then said she wanted to spend fathers day with her uncle.

Maisymoo is right, trying to swap days generally ends up in a bitter arguement and after he made demands to change a few weeks ago and then turned up on the wrong day shouting his mouth off i now try to avoid these situations.

  • Sunshine10
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15 Jun 12 #336871 by Sunshine10
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My stbx is coming to spend the day with the kids (at my request). They have the most amazing present for him (obviously organised by me) but are so excited about it. For my two, who are 10 and 7, Fathers day is as much if not more about them as it is about their dad. So I decided to be the bigger person and perhaps it will make him think about the crap he got me off them for my birthday. But perhaps not, I don''t really care.

Anyway, I shall spend the day shopping on my own, which will be wonderful!

  • Emma8485
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15 Jun 12 #336899 by Emma8485
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Fathers Day belongs to Dad, Mothers Day belongs to mum. I moan sometimes about my ex, and to be fair he can be a total plonker sometimes, but I am so relieved that we can actually discuss the kids, and swapped weekends so the girls could spend this weekend with their dad - I wouldnt want anything less for them.

To be fair he gives them money to buy my xmas, birthday and mothers day presents, and i do the same for his special days.

I am thinking I must be one of the lucky ones.

  • jslgb
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15 Jun 12 #336900 by jslgb
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Emma8485 wrote:

I am thinking I must be one of the lucky ones.


I honestly hope that at some point in the future my stbxh and i can be amicable and he can put our child first too!

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