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WORK ... Arrrgh!

  • redwine47
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27 Jun 12 #339610 by redwine47
Topic started by redwine47
Has anyone else got a problem getting work.?

I worked most of my married life, had never ever claimed benefits.

I had my 2nd long awaited child when I agreed to stay at home..... Was very nervous 10 years ago making the decision as I had never been dependant on anyone else before. The number of times I went to my boss to resign and then decided not too....

This continued for a year or longer after my child was born, until my now stbx & I decided we were financially secure & he was travelling re work a lot...... Decision made.!

10years on.......married 23 years, Seperated nearly 3years..... Have reasonable qualifications, also updated..... but still unemployed, just one temporary 9month contract now finished ......applied for l.oads jobs... nobody wants me..... :S

Hindsight all those years ago should never have given up my job.... & independance,

Do the other party (now refusing to pay child maintenance) realise how vulnerable we mums or dads feel & wot we have given up?

Obviously not?

  • Stingrayj
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28 Jun 12 #339624 by Stingrayj
Reply from Stingrayj
They certainly don''t seem to give a damn Redwine :(
I gave up a very good job with prospects when I was pregnant with my 3rd child, 17 years ago. He was advancing his career overseas but failed to tell me he had met a local lady and impregnated it 15 years ago. Fast forward me discovering this while living in a foreign country with no hope of real work just over 2 years ago.
I have now secured a 15 hour a week job with Asda..minimum wage but a job I would never thought possible since returning to Uk 3 months ago. How a job like this could make me feel so good about myself at 54 years of age! Don''t know how I am supposed to survive on that but it beats 30 euros a week!
Scour all the big store websites and persevere. I know it''s not great but it is a start.
Hope you find something soon x

  • Crumpled
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28 Jun 12 #339643 by Crumpled
Reply from Crumpled
Hi im in the same boat im a graduate gave a really good job up that i loved 16 years ago after having my second child (i have three now) who is autistic . The only one i have managed to get having applied for absolutely loads is a casual job working on a saturday in an estate agent.
STBX earns seven figures and this week he gave me 150 for all our expenses for four of us ....petrol food etc etc he has taken my visa card away as well.
My daughter got a puncture on the motorway the tyre cost £100 to replace it I rang my stbx and asked him to pay some money in to my daughters account so she could replace it....and he said cant she get home as they are run flat tyres......i just could rant on...she isnt back yet from staying at her friends but i think her friend paid for it so i will have to sort that out when she gets back....its a pathetic situationto be in

  • redwine47
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28 Jun 12 #339763 by redwine47
Reply from redwine47
Hi stingray ....

I m glad you''ve secured a position.. What an awful position you were left in. I agree a job keeps you sane even if a low wage. I enjoyed my temporary position, definitely boosted my confidence, felt like my old pre marital self again. It felt so good to be earning my own wage. Alas only temporary.

I. would prefer to. provide for children &me without the intervention of stbx who is still trying to control thing. by holding back cm.... Will have to do through csa now I think.

Live the day,.... I know how you feel. If we mums maybe were more selfish & behaved like some of our exes wot wld happen!

How would they cope...if they had firstly to give birth....(prob die of shock lol.) so probably wouldn''t get to the stage of Leaving their job. & devoting the remainder of their llife to anothers. 24/7.....stuck at home ..... no income...... unable to see friends..... And then many years later find yourself going through a divorce, still have no income, then expected to just grab a job from thin air..... fetch n carry kids Teens,. . homework...washing... .dinner... shopping.. Counsellor friend parent teacher.. taxi etc. , etc etc

I wld never change my devotion to children but some times wonder what it is like being my other half.... deciding if & wen I will see or contribute to kids emotional, practical & financial needs if they can fit around such a busy independent life free of these responsibilities .... . It comes way down list in my oh priorities.

Btw. I know there are great dads out there wish stbx was one of them

Rant over & hopefully work will come my way soon xx

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