this is something that my daughter has already shown that she is worried coz she reckons her brother is not ready to venture into a business as he has not much experience she does not say it to my face that she its not fair but in some discussions my son has indicated that she wont want to have his sister work in his shop that kind of stuff its getting clear each time you guys post these tremendous opinions
Son will be cross as he clearly thought he was on a promise with the 20K this may in fact have contributed to his lack of interest in the Uni idea - perhaps when he does the leg work and finds out how difficult it is to get that sort of money as an unsecured loan, he will re-appraise his options.
My dad was very firm with me and my sibs that once we hit the 18 mark we were adults and as much as he was there to guide and support this was not a continuation of pocket money. First ever job any of us got and we had to pay a proportion for housekeeping. Never felt hard done by and they were lessons that stood by me for life.
I worked for years and then put myself through Uni - my friends had it easier but that didnt bother me as I think the way it went worked out best all round. Post 18 we think we know it all we just dont realise what it all costs.
Standing on own two feet means just that - if you want it then go out and get it - not get the family to provide it for you. Yes some families support their adult children and give them a leg up but usually by being partners in the business and keeping a firm hand on it. From what you say your son wants the investment and then wants all the control. You already have your concerns about whether he can make it work and by the sounds of how the conversation has gone just about money and uni - hes not going to be receptive to you asking important questions about how your investment is being used.
He needs his independence - fair enough - but I presume you will be housing and covering his living costs (including no doubt loan of car etc) whilst he gets his plans off the ground. That on its own is huge support and son might just need to learn the real costs of life. Might I suggest you point him in the direction of Dragons Den - if he fairs well there then maybe the 20K can come back on the table!
thank you it''s so straight forward here what direction me n son need to go I hope my son sees sense in these valuable ideas for now he is not buying the sensible thing to do I will b firm n supportive all the way