short re-cap i think may be needed so here goes...
divorced since august, had first hearing regarding finances back in end of sept, judge asked for all bank statements etc form E to be completed to sort out split, went to mediation in oct, only to be told that ex would not be continuing with mediation as he thought it was a waste of time!!!! all offers i have made to ex he completely rejected, told mediator he gona take me to court to get everything he could out of me!! ok so, tomorrow is another hearing will the judge take into account his lack of mediation and the fact he has always rejected my offer!!
married for 15 years, my name on house deeds and mortgage, i have always paid bills and mort, he has never worked, been in and out of hospital due to mental health issues, we have 2 kids, looked after by me when i was at home, then looked after by my family when i returned to work, he has been in and out of hospital 8 times over the last 12 years,
my offer was £16,000 lump sum and i want a Clean Break order. he lives in warden control housing , all bills etc paid, he gets loads of benefits totalling £12,000 per year, my yearly income is £21,000. the children have had little contact with him ahs he cat cope with them even under supervision!!
sorry to ramble. am really worried about tomorrow. tried to contact solicitor this week for support and advice, but he away on holiday argh!!! have been told that another solicitor will be there tomorrow !! ex apparantly after £16,000 lump sum still, spousal maintenace and wants £45,000 ( this would be what is left after split if i had to sell the house) the children live with me full time.
I suppose i am after a little bit of advice!!Thankyou
Thankyou for asking but it was awful!!!! the judge said the the ex is entiltled to half of the house!! so i now have to go to my bank to find out what increase i can get in my mortgage, i need to raise £49,500 his half share without me having to sell the house!!! dont know what to do. he has said he will accept £16,000 lump sum and wait 10 years till youngest leaves home for the remainder!! no way , if he wants ith £49,500 i will raise it some how even if it means i will be on the breadline, dont want this hanging round my neck for the next 10 years. he only wants the limp sum now so it wont effect his benefits!!! am so down this evening could cry x
''entitled'' is just a word. ''getting'' 50% is not the same. Everyone is ''entitled'' to 50% of marital assets as they are jointly owned, in the same way that debts are considered to be jointly owned. The reality is very different and I don''t think there are many posters on here that have seen both parties walk away with an even split.
Even taking into account the fact that he is on benefits and you are earning, you are still the primary carer and in most situations that would mean you get a greater share of the assets as you have to house and feed the children.
What else did the judge say? I am sure they must have said other things apart from the matter of splitting the equity.
The judge did not say anything else as regards to any other finances, even though i am the primary carer it was not even mentioned. At the next hearing which i am told will be the fianl one, if the judge is a different one can they award something totally different, ie, more in my favour, or is he likely to go with what the previous judge has suggested( nothing has been awarded just suggested, this was the opinion of the judge ) x
Maybe someone will come along to clarify this but I thought that the judge at a final hearing was automatically a different judge and they were not allowed to know details of what a previous judge had suggested. So, in answer to your question, yes something totally different can be awarded, either better or worse. I think!
Thankyou for your reply, am losing it tonight me thinks, just a very long day, cant see light at end of tunnel yet, suppose it didnt help with his new girlfriend there waiting in the wings, and he also had his father and sister there also at court , but atleast i had my mom xx