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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


re-cap, need advice!

  • alldone69
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20 Nov 12 #367208 by alldone69
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feel down today after yesterday, thoughts going round my head like you would not believe, trying to go over and over what the judge said!! cant believe he suggested that ex hubby could be entitled to half of value of house ansd spousal payments!!!!!!! didnt acknowledge that i am primary carer to our 2 children and that i am raising them in the family home, his housing needs are met, although he on benefits and cant work, feel like i am being screwed over!!! well thats a rant from, cant be bothered to eat again today, i know its not good, but tomorrow another day!!!!!!!! hopefully will get better.x

  • WhiteRose
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21 Nov 12 #367225 by WhiteRose
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Hugs, Don''t get too downhearted!

What did your solicitor say?

  • u6c00
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21 Nov 12 #367235 by u6c00
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On an income of £21000 there is next to no chance of any spousal maintenance, it''s plainly obvious that you can''t afford it. I don''t think that you will need to worry about this aspect.

Really I guess the main concern is how much of the equity in the house he is able to claim/you are able to offer.

  • alldone69
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21 Nov 12 #367240 by alldone69
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if i had to sell the house, and pay mort people back there would be £98,000 left. thats why he after £49,000. i have been told by my bank that i can re mortgage up to £20,000. i could give him this and he has said he would wait until my youngest leaves fulltime education and then sell the house to give him the remainder!! The judge said he could be entitled to half of the house, so i am thinking if i put it on the market and sell it quickly and cheaply then give him half of what is left. i could then perhaps get mortgage and put money from sale of house with mortgage, hope this makes sense x

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21 Nov 12 #367243 by alldone69
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my solicitor back in office on friday, the solicitor who was there on monday could not believev what the judge had suggested!! gobsmacked !!

  • NoWhereToTurnl
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21 Nov 12 #367244 by NoWhereToTurnl
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Hi alldone69,

I can identify with how you are feeling because I went through what you are going through now. Hopefully you will gain strength by reading this.

The judge at my FDR was condescending, joked with my ex, was very much on his side and basically said that the ex cohabiting had no impact on proceedings unless the OW''s father was a multi millionaire with one foot in the grave!

He also said he saw no reason why he should not preside over the FH. I was totally crushed, unable to see the point in carrying on, thought I would be left penny less and homeless after 30+ years marriage.

Fortunately I turned my despair into finding out all the legal aspects and I can categorically tell you that the judge who hears the FDR should not hear the FH, nor have access to any of the proceedings at the FDR.

I contacted the court and yes the judge from the FDR had been listed to hear the FH ( at his request ). I then got my solicitor to write to the courts pointing out the error. The judge was changed.

That was back in 2004/5. this year the ex unilaterally stopped paying SM, started his bully tactics again and back to court we went. I think you know what I am going to say ;)
Yes it was the judge from the FDR, again they joked, judge was firmly on ex side, said he didnt see why ex should have to continue paying the joint lives SM CO bla bla bla........

As we are going through variation of CO, this judge is not allowed to hear the case and yet again he listed the next hearing for him to hear. This time I was forearmed with knowledge, contacted the circuit judge and will never have to go before that particular bigoted man again.

The case is ongoing as the ex continues to be the plank he is, FH now January 2013, I have the name of the judge and will ensure the other one does not hear the case.

Take heart and if you want any more information, please ask.

Very best wishes, have a better day, big hugs,

NWTT x

  • alldone69
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21 Nov 12 #367246 by alldone69
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Thankyou so much, i feel better today, how soon could i contact courts to find out name of the judge? apparantly ex and his camp( lol) are trying for some reason to get this pushed through before xmas!! makes me feel that something is happening good for him after xmas, perhaps going to co habit!! if i have to give him half of house , i will, its the spousal payments that gets to me, after all why should i pay him that and keep him because he cant work, does not seem right i should keep him even though we divorced argh!

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