While I agree with the post... it got me wondering. It seems that the vast majority of Wiki users are the victims. Is that possible? Where is the other half of the equation, or are we all getting heavily biased accounts? There are always two sides to every story..... I have asked questions on here before as well, and of course I believe I am a victim as well... But what I failed to say was that for all her faults, my stbx-wife really was a good wife, who looked after the children really well, looked after me really well - OK - she had a spending problem - A HUGE ONE! - which sort of led to a trust issue on my part, perhaps some emotional withdrawal, leading her to compensate by spending more - and the cycle continued etc. I suppose if she was posting on this site she would tell a different story. Come on guys/girls, fess up... Are we really all victims??
I it hard when you feel like your world has caved in and there is no way out,even to contemplate that things will improve and get better. Although many of us on here have problems, big problems, it is amazing how we are still ready to help, encourage and support them. Perhaps listening to other peoples worries does you good in a strange way. It confirms that you are not the only one going through it, some are far worse off than yourself and you give compassion, it is, I think a 'feel good factor', you have been able to assure, calm down, give guidance to a frightened and scared person.
Support can also be in the form of humour, and unfortunately some of the best humour comes from tragic situations. I have found on many occasions that laughing and making jokes takes away a lot stress. We think that because we are going through hell we should be constantly sad, not always the case. Calling ex's nicknames, giggling about things you should not, all adds to the healing process, and wanting to share our jokes with others, because we are getting stronger and we are feeling better, and laughter is such a milestone.
Cant speak for everyone, I agree that there are two sides to every story. In my case I am sure that my ex would see things differently.
All I can say is that you have to take people as they come, accept what they tell you and support them if you chose. Its your choice, to respond to a post, chat to somebody, PM etc.
I agree with Pheonix, there are some people registered in here, who have faced such turmoil in their lives, who are supportive to others and prepared to share their insight, which is what I think this site is all about.
Going with the general wiki interpretation of victim my Ex is probably one and I'm not. But yet I'm the one who today feels like the stuffings been knocked out of me again due to his latest control trip.
On the way home today (between tears)I was thinking about posting about the majority of PWC's who post here and how proud they should be for maintaining/trying to maintain a relationship between their children and their Ex's. You must love your children very much.
I think there are many here who need commended for their actions. Take a great big pat on the back if it applies.
I dont post daily, but, boy, am i hooked on wiki! I would not use the net for finding friends, "i wouldnt be that desperate" YET that is exactly what i have done, I dont know them other than through their messages, and even thou i dont chat, i see how others are responding. And the fact that peeps can help others through their own miseries is brilliant. The fact is we are ALL experiencing the same hurt, humiliation and uncertainty, and that what makes us the way we are i suppose.
I am arguing with a serial adulterer over a few bob! I read a post shortly after, and cried buckets, for me? no! For the saddness that someone is experiencing over her son. and for Dawn1's good news, and iknownow with her children, the list goes on, but can i mention another thing, its called WOMAN..somehow we can and do cope, we find a way, whatever. The posts from people that CANT hold it together and have the hardest time are men! Sorry guys, i just think this to be true, maybe its our built in survival, given to us cos we are mothers? Tell me if im wrong.
Sorry but I think you are wrong. When I have been down and desperate it has been the guys who have helped me through with support compassion and not just a little dose of humour. Often the women have the children and dire and desperate though that can be they have someone to hold it all together for.
I don't have children at home and like a lot of the guys on here felt everything had been taken away from me. So I think often the guys are in a very different position to the women and we all get through it in the best way we can.