Hi, the word victim got me thinking. I have realised that I did become a victim in our marriage and as soon as I start getting rid off this label and of the feeling of being a victim, I start feeling better about myself, about future. I feel that I CAN at last be in control of my life, as opposed to somebody else controling me. That would be a very good outcome of a marriage break down and betrayal. They say something good must come out from this suffering from me. Well, being in control of my own life again, should be a pretty good outcome, would it not?
Sorry Megan if it came over that the guys arnt supportive. ... Mmnn, i see what you mean, But my friend has just gone throu a terrible time with her oh, had an affair, she threw him out, and HE had the breakdown, Maybe it was the guilt, dunno! Ill think that one again!
without this site i can truly say that i would have been seriously concerned as to the powers of my emotions since finding out that my husband was having an affair. I dont have any friends or family who have been through or suffered the pain a betrayal does and would have seriously thought that i was losing my mind and unstable if i could not have come on here and discovered that what i feel is normal.
As to us all being the victims, i guess it's true that we are only one side of a story and i wonder if there is a site where all the others go!! I know that on my part i can honestly say with hand on heart that i took my marriage vows seriously, that i have been a good and supportive wife, and mother. I don't think im perfect but i can say that i always did my best and that i dont think in any shape or form that i can be blamed for my ex having an affair. If anything i would say that the reason he did it was because he thinks im soft and that i made life too easy for him by being so understanding, helpful and easy going.
Who knows im damned sure i dont understand it at all why marry someone take these vows and go on to hurt that person