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Anyone ever had their stbx read this stuff?

  • jar of hearts
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29 Jun 13 #399236 by jar of hearts
Reply from jar of hearts
Yes my ex certainly did for a while and being a controlling abusive man tried to use it against me. He brought up in correspondence etc that I was "clearly being ill-advised by idiots on wikivorce". So then I changed my id and details on here and I think I have now shaken him off.

  • strongerthanithought
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29 Jun 13 #399239 by strongerthanithought
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I would be surprised if my ex had the nous to research divorce forums - he got the best legal advice from his mates at work and down the pub - and look where that got him :-)

I DO wonder if my partner and his ex ever read my posts though, sometimes whilst I am not specific in any particular post, if they were to read all my posts together then they might soon work it out.

  • Margot123
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29 Jun 13 #399241 by Margot123
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I have also wondered if my stbx did/does read these forums or even found this site...but I think advice via OW and her crew seems to be sufficient....besides, I don''t think searching online for advice on divorce would even enter his mind or that he would feel that he is computer literate enough to do so - that is what he claimed when I had to do online researches for his job...strangely he never seem to have any issues finding certain "sites".... :whistle:

  • Shoegirl
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29 Jun 13 #399244 by Shoegirl
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I think OW found me here, well the first one did anyway. There is never just one in my exs case :unsure:I knew she was reading and I wrote her a letter and put it on the blog. I don''t know if it was coincidence but she and my husband split up around this time. If she was reading she would have read my red raw pain. That was a while ago now and I am in a very different place.

I did think he had found me here at one point. The thing is though for him to be sure it was me, he would have to piece together a number of different posts/threads to be sure. Coupled with the fact that my journey of personal growth since he left means he would not necessarily really associate me with some of the comments. If he has found me here, he would be just be confused.

I concluded he is unlikely to have the motivation to work it out and actually he is not particularly likely to be knocking around here anyway. He was almost in a euphoric state when he ended the marriage so I suspect he doesn''t see the need for this kind of support. The fact that being euphoric to walk away, lie and cheat before that in the way he did is deeply dysfunctional seems to have escaped his attention.

Now whether uber controlling ex Father In Law has found me here is quite a different matter. Its the only way I can make sense of a very recent act of utter contempt. Perhaps he knows the truth when he reads it, from his unprovoked act of spite, I suspect my contributions here may cause him some difficulty for fear of what I actually might say. Secrets and lies are tough things to live with and my ex and his family live a precarious existence with a cupboard packed full of skeletons. I am just glad I don''t have this kind of issue to contend with. Paranoid monitoring of a support website is in itself not a great way to spend time really is it?

Ultimately my contributions to this site are about me and my journey and a sincere belief that sharing can help others on their climb back from marital breakdown. This sharing and caring is alien to my ex and his family. They have a meanness of spirit which means that they would conclude that the only motivation would be to have a go or spite. So not the case, it is the lens they apply to the world and this can get projected on to me. If others can identify their own actions and that causes them discomfort that is for them.

Oh and Pixy can I just say that knowing you personally for over two years now has been a privilege. Knowing what I do, I can say without hesitation that the description of your stbx is absolutely factually correct.

  • hawaythelads
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29 Jun 13 #399272 by hawaythelads
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Fecking certainly hope so!
Morning Harridan! Morning Bazza!:blink:
All the best

  • afonleas
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29 Jun 13 #399307 by afonleas
Reply from afonleas
Love it Haway,my sentiments exactly!!!!

If ever he came here he would recognise me from my name.
If he read my posts,I would say Well Done..
Nothing I have said on here,am I afraid to say to his face,have said to the sad face..

Both Dick-head and Rent-a-Bike deserve each other,I have everything and more,all he got is not the green grass,but a load of Bovine excrement:laugh:

Trouble is,he admitted it :dry:

Take care
Luv and cwtchs

  • SilverFir
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29 Jun 13 #399338 by SilverFir
Reply from SilverFir
My Ex and I were both frequent posters on another forum, and he went so far as to get his solicitor to write and ask me to desist from posting there ... even though I''d been on the site longer. I ignored the request.

But as far as I know - and despite the uniqueness of our situation (Scotland/England, house sale, 4 years divorcing) - he never traced me on Wikivorce.

For his sake, he''d have been better off here. He spent a fortune on solicitors and only listened to their advice when it was in his favour, he ignored other advice and then sacked them when they wouldn''t do as asked. If he''d used Wiki, he''d still have some money left.


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