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Feelings

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7 years 1 month ago #407586 by Missingme
Feelings was created by Missingme
Hi everyone,

I''m a guy who has been through an horrendous year and a half.
My wife left me in December 2012 while I was out. I came home to a partial empty home.
We haven''t spoken since January. Everything goes through her solicitor.
I''ve been feeling really good lately and to he honest I haven''t given her much thought.
So why is it the last couple of days I''ve started missing her again, and thinking non stop about her.
I''ve tried keeping busy, but she is still there.
I just don''t understand why I''m feeling like this at the moment.

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7 years 1 month ago #407588 by Missingme
Replied by Missingme on topic Re:Feelings
I should have added I discovered that she was an affair in January 2013. Even though she initially denied it but later admitted it.

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  • NoWhereToTurnl
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7 years 1 month ago #407592 by NoWhereToTurnl
Replied by NoWhereToTurnl on topic Re:Feelings
Hi missingme,

Its normal to have these feelings wash over you from time to time and it will occur less and less as things progress.

We all think back to the good times and yearn for what might have been BUT, the trust has gone, a spouse that has affairs has no love, respect or concern for your mental well being.

Push the thoughts away, concentrate on you and take up strenuous exercise, a punch bag does wonders ;)

Take care,

NWTT.

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7 years 1 month ago #407597 by jjones123
Replied by jjones123 on topic Re:Feelings
NWTT is right: this does happen from time to time... and I''ve come to understand it as a part of the healing and recovery process. Each time we get into a low, they get less and less significant. It''ll get to a point where you don''t really too much about the nasty ex any more.

I''m three years or something in, and it still hits me from time to time. I don''t ever feel the raw hurt that I used to any more, just a feeling that my ex (and the corresponding history that accompanies all that stuff) is a mild annoyance, like athlete''s foot (and I guess that is something that can come back time and time again too).

One idea is to acknowledge this feeling of discomfort or pain for what it is... which is a part of moving forwards, and healing - and learn how to live with it for a while. Gradually, it will disappear until the next time it comes back, but less with less vigour (because the last time it was there, you''ve changed, and have healed that little bit more).

JJ

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7 years 1 month ago #407600 by Missingme
Replied by Missingme on topic Re:Feelings
Thank you for your kind comments.
I know it''s still early days. I just hate feeling this way.
I keep trying to move forward but this happens and it''s like two steps back.
Really don''t remember it being like this when I was younger.

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