has anybody else had this issue? I as a man find myself constantly fighting against the system. If my ex wife is unreasonable or violent its just accepted, if I shout out of total frustration, not threatening it is seen as intimidation. If she does not pay for childrens'' clothes even though she can, it is just accepted, if I do the same it is seen as me being mean, despite paying a lot already...If she is late picking the children up, she just says she was in traffic and there is no issue, if I am late I am personally blamed and told me its deliberate, this list goes on..am I the only one?
Murray, social services carried out an assessment due to her lies.
Was I consulted at anytime, nope.
I wrote a complaint. Social services apologised, stating that they didn''t take the other parents view, but from now on they will and adapt there procedures. I just couldn''t believe.
I feel as my stbx is female they instantly right and believed.
When we tell the truth, we are just causing trouble or alike.
My ex abused me for approx two years, she then turned it around and they instantly believe her.
The system is crap.
by the way this is not to say that some men are guilty, Im sure some are ..but in many cases women DO act unreasonably and they are not blamed straight away like men are, not all women are in the right ALL the time..they can be at fault too!
Hi Missingme, thanks for telling me this, it must have been a terrible time for you and I sympathise 100%; I guess what is worse is that the only way this will change is if the system will change, and the system is very far away from this....my ex threw me down the stairs and I ended up in hospital, and I was told there was no point in raising an official complaint, the other way round a complaint would have almost been encouraged and then believed straight away...I just gave up and by doing so felt even worse! So I understand entirely, I just hope this sort of forum is useful as it shows you are not alone. if any women read this.. I know many women suffer at the hands of unreasonable men but it does happen the other way round and women are often believed far quicker and with less fuss than men
I think that what you have to bare in mind that no one person can experience both sides of the court process and many people, regardless of gender and rightly or wrongly feel there is a bias towards them. I dont think anyone anticipates this outcome when they have children and for all of us its an unwanted experience. You will no doubt find people offering both sides of the coin and i''m confident its not an alien feeling to many.