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What are we each entitled to in our divorce settlement?

What does the law say about how to split the house, how to share pensions and other assets, and how much maintenance is payable.

What steps can we take to reach a fair agreement?

The four basic steps to reaching an agreement on divorce finances are: disclosure, getting advice, negotiating and implementing a Consent Order.

What is a Consent Order and why do we need one?

A Consent Order is a legally binding document that finalises a divorcing couple's agreement on property, pensions and other assets.


Do you need help sorting out a fair financial settlement?

Our consultant service offers expert advice and support to help you reach agreement on a fair financial settlement quickly, and for less than a quarter of the cost of using a traditional high street solicitor.


How can I get back home

  • Marshy_
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06 Feb 14 #421438 by Marshy_
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Your not pathetic. Your Mk1 loyal husband. Pat on the back for not retaliating. A revenge s%ag never works out.

But what to do? I would do nothing. The ball is in her court to be rid of you. But I would be pressing for a financial resolution. Perhaps mediation?

I know this is tough. But the great news (and it is great news) is that you know what the driving force is behind this. But what ever you do. Take no action against her or the men. That would do you no favours. Concentrate on getting out of this as quickly and as cleanly as you can.

I know you will be angry and you feel cheated and revenge will be in your mind. If you want revenge, get on with your life and work towards getting her out of your life. Getting yourself sorted is the best revenge you will ever get. She will expect to step over you in the gutter. Dont let her. And what ever you do. Dont plead or beg. Cut her dead. No contact. Drop her like a hot brick.

Sew the wind. Reap the whirlwind. C.

  • Lonely37
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11 Feb 14 #421961 by Lonely37
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Dear Marshy
Thank you for your help. I wanted to ask about my girls actually. I have pictures, comments... To support my case about my wife that she cheated on me while we were together, got drunk few occasions and couldn''t wake up to look after my 3 year old, her 6 year old sister had to wake up to put her back to bed as they sleep in same room. Also while my 2 girls sleeping upstairs she let other men in the house night time. My 6 year old told me that once she heard voices ( you can guess what ) but she was scared to go down as she didn''t know this male voice.
Do you think these will be enough for me to start my case against my wife neglecting girls, letting stranger men in the matrimonial house. I really want my girls custody

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11 Feb 14 #421970 by happyagain
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The problem you have lonely, is that your wife has done a great job so far as legally maligning your character, and distancing you from your girls. Sadly there are many parents who do far worse than sleep around and get drunk a few times who get to keep their children, no questions asked. If you went to court, your wife would explain how you''re actually really a violent man (see molestation order, m'' lord), and that the so called evidence is just an attempt to slander her purity. She''d would also argue, and this would hold more weight, that you have not been involved in their day to day lives for some time now and that to alter that would be harmful to their well being.
As you know, whoever has the kids holds the cards.
My advice to you would be to apply for a defined contact order, which she would see as less threatening than a residence order and would guarantee you contact. In the meantime, keep yourself whiter than white and document everything she does!

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11 Feb 14 #421975 by Lonely37
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Thank you. I have tried to get involved with girls lives, only see them once a week, asked to be involved more but she kept fobbing me off. She has no evidence ab me being violent apart from her words which I never was. She plays this innocent girl to everybody but I know everything now. So you are saying no chance of getting my girls and let her do whatever she wants

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11 Feb 14 #421978 by happyagain
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Please don''t think that I believe that this is the morally right thing to do. But I have seen this happen enough to know that you are fighting against a system which places the role of carer above all other considerations, and that she has a head start on you with the non mol order. It is her word against yours, but unfortunately you were arrested and she was not. A judge only sees these facts,.
As I said, a contact order is a starting point. You can then work to increase it, or even go for shared residence. But with the situation as it is, she has the upper hand and no, it''s not fair :(

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12 Feb 14 #422095 by Marshy_
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Happy again is right. Your ex is two things. A mother and a stbx and the two are not connected to each other like they were when you were an item.

No child likes to see their mum rubbished. Stay away from that space.

Concentrate on getting this women out of your life as quickly and cleanly as you can. Dont complicate matters. As happy again said, plenty of mothers do what she did. Its not unusual. You may not like it. Thats another matter. But it shouldnt cloud what you need to do. C.

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