Shoegirl wrote: someone said that the process of recovery is like cutting a large lawn with a pair of scissors.
That rings true to me (one year in, but with the situation still developing for the worse) but it also reminded me of another horticultural image I find helpful, so I share it with you here. It may have particular resonance for those who have moved on to newer pastures, but is intended for those trying to refocus from the past, their xs and so on to make a new life for themselves:
The grass is greener where it is watered.
PS And then I remembered a book I read at school - Candide by Voltaire, in which the hero faces all kinds of traumas and adventures around the world, but concludes that the key to happiness is ''il faut cultiver notre jardin'' - which I think is telling us to look after ourselves and our immediate surroundings.
(Good grief - is my memory returning?? Great sign!!)
just to add a wee bit to the horticultural theme (My dad was a market gardener - I can''t help myself!). When I first went to counselling I described my ex and I - we were like two small plants that had been planted young but eventually had become entwined as one (very biblical!) and the roots intertwined and perhaps pot bound.
Separating the plants cannot be done without damage to the roots and plants but hopefully eventually if tended they can be ropotted, tended and grow again.
I am not sure the plants once separated become as good as their orginal - perhaps the damage of ripping those roots is too much - but there will be some regrowth.
Tend yourself as you would a plant you are trying to bring back.....
I am not saying it easy....but I hope the analogy helps a tiny bit.