my ex has just moved in with a new girlfriend of 5 months(mainly cos she is giving him a free home and paying all his debts off plus all bills).The kids have a regular overnight stay as part of his access but friends say I do not have to let them go to hers overnight even tho it is now his home .Does anyone know if this is true.I am £18,ooo down after divorce.
The only reason you should prevent your children from having an overnight stay with their other parent is if you really believe that the children are in some kind of danger.
Simply "Not being too happy that the STBX or Ex has moved in with someone else" really is not a legitimate reason. Yes, I am sure you dont like this new woman. I understand that perfectly, however were you to stop contact for no other reason than what could be percieved as jealousy or petty revenge, you would be doing more harm than good.
Please do not take that the wrong way. Its in no way an attack upon you. I am just hoping that this new woman is reasonable, law abiding and likes your children.
Preventing your children access to their father or making it awkward for him could have a very negative effect on the children, not just their father.
Weigh everything up is the best advice I can give you. And only act if the children are not cared for properly, neglected or you feel they may be in danger.
I wonder if your ''friends'' have read the new book on Family Breakdown by Penelope Leach or read her articles in the Daily Mail? I am afraid she gives very poor, and very controversial, advice on overnight stays based on a misinterpretation of available research. Anecdotal evidence suggests her book is having a malign influence in court. Best avoided.
Children are better having bith parents involved in there lives possibly a gradual introduction to his gf might be appropriate but if at all possible try and keep up contact if you have concerns about there safety that''s another matter.