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overnight stays

  • Holly63
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09 Jul 14 #439187 by Holly63
Topic started by Holly63
my ex has just moved in with a new girlfriend of 5 months(mainly cos she is giving him a free home and paying all his debts off plus all bills).The kids have a regular overnight stay as part of his access but friends say I do not have to let them go to hers overnight even tho it is now his home .Does anyone know if this is true.I am £18,ooo down after divorce.

  • rubytuesday
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09 Jul 14 #439189 by rubytuesday
Reply from rubytuesday
Hi holly, welcome to Wikivorce.

Is there an issue regarding the childrens'' safety or welfare when the children go and stay with Dad in his mew home? Remember that although his new partner may own the house it is now also his home.

How have the overnights been up to now? Is the move into his new partners house the only recent change? Your friends arent correct Im afraid.

  • Stumpylad70
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09 Jul 14 #439209 by Stumpylad70
Reply from Stumpylad70
The only reason you should prevent your children from having an overnight stay with their other parent is if you really believe that the children are in some kind of danger.

Simply "Not being too happy that the STBX or Ex has moved in with someone else" really is not a legitimate reason. Yes, I am sure you dont like this new woman. I understand that perfectly, however were you to stop contact for no other reason than what could be percieved as jealousy or petty revenge, you would be doing more harm than good.

Please do not take that the wrong way. Its in no way an attack upon you. I am just hoping that this new woman is reasonable, law abiding and likes your children.

Preventing your children access to their father or making it awkward for him could have a very negative effect on the children, not just their father.

Weigh everything up is the best advice I can give you. And only act if the children are not cared for properly, neglected or you feel they may be in danger.

  • Forseti
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10 Jul 14 #439252 by Forseti
Reply from Forseti
I wonder if your ''friends'' have read the new book on Family Breakdown by Penelope Leach or read her articles in the Daily Mail? I am afraid she gives very poor, and very controversial, advice on overnight stays based on a misinterpretation of available research. Anecdotal evidence suggests her book is having a malign influence in court. Best avoided.

  • somuch2know2
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10 Jul 14 #439273 by somuch2know2
Reply from somuch2know2
Your friends are right to some extent- you can basically frustrate contact and eliminate your ex from your kid''s life- but why would you want to do that?

Children are best brought up with 2 parents, and you should be doing your best to foster that relationship to ensure that they continue to have two parents in their lives.

  • sulkypants
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10 Jul 14 #439292 by sulkypants
Reply from sulkypants
Children are better having bith parents involved in there lives possibly a gradual introduction to his gf might be appropriate but if at all possible try and keep up contact if you have concerns about there safety that''s another matter.

  • MrsMathsisfun
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10 Jul 14 #439295 by MrsMathsisfun
Reply from MrsMathsisfun
In this case Father has already moved in with girlfriend so the gradual introduction of new girl friend may have already happened.

As a parent with pr the father have the right to decide where its appropriate for his child to stay. Blocking contact for this reason wouldn''t be in best interest of the child.

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