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holidays.

  • itsbeenalongtime
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5 years 6 months ago #459073 by itsbeenalongtime
holidays. was created by itsbeenalongtime
Well here we go again. Another holiday, everyone out doing family things and yet again im on my own. Kids have their own lives and i dont want them to be babysitting me. Friends have their families around and i dont want to intrude. Does this feeling of being alone ever go. I just seem to see happy everywhere except here.Keep thinking im getting there and along comes another "holiday".Feel like im on a roundabout with everything going so fast i cant get off. Just wish i knew why im here. Thought my life was perfect, could`nt be further from the truth.Happy smiley face outside,shut the door and its a long time til i smile again. just want it all to stop hurting.

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  • AngieP
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5 years 6 months ago #459083 by AngieP
Replied by AngieP on topic Re:holidays.
Holiday times can be difficult. I know it can seem that everyone but you is having a wonderful time and if you have memories of family life and traditions when children were younger it can accentuate the feelings of emptiness when your life has changed so much. For me, trying to be positive, will not be spending hours shopping for food, cleaning, cooking etc at holiday times as in the past. The flip side of it is that it can be quite liberating to do what you choose.I also know that although you might think you see ''happy everywhere'' that is not always the reality. Hope you find some moments of peace and contentment this weekend and it will be Tuesday before we know it!

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  • Forester
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5 years 6 months ago #459089 by Forester
Replied by Forester on topic Re:holidays.
Hi Its..., I wonder if I can help by telling you how I manage. I have no family whatsoever - ex''s choice re children. My ex is currently skiing in a very expensive resort with his partner and her 2 children - I still find it difficult, especially as I can''t work out how he can afford it!!!! And to cap it, an arrangement with a friend today was cancelled at the last moment. So I allowed myself a wallow in misery mud and then wrote a list of jobs that need doing mixed with some fun things, so a day of sanding with a long bath and pedicure at the end of it.

Checking my freezer this morning I realised I need to shop, but I have enough to cobble some meals together to take me through the Easter holiday. So yippee, no spending ages prepping, cooking and double yippee clearing up. It''s all about me this weekend and I have every right and reason to indulge myself.

It may well be the same again next year and every year beyond, but it might not be, so make the most of this oasis of peace and use it well. XX

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  • itsbeenalongtime
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5 years 6 months ago #459093 by itsbeenalongtime
Replied by itsbeenalongtime on topic Re:holidays.
Did the food shopping yesterday with a glitter of excitement as my son was coming for the weekend but cancelled late yesterday.Still working so not time off. stbx has gone off for the long weekend as he does when he`s not working. 5 days on and 5 days off.
I just feel stuck, as not free but not in a position to do what i want. Just in a bad place at mo, but know it wont be forever.
Sorry for moaning just feel like i need a break.If i could get finances sorted would know where i stood and maybe get away for a bit.
Hope things get better for you guys too. thanks again,

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5 years 6 months ago #459095 by AngieP
Replied by AngieP on topic Re:holidays.
Hi its. Sorry that is the situation you are in. Know it is little consolation but you have said it yourself - you know it won''t be forever. What I have told myself in particularly bad times is that it will all be just a memory one day. That feeling of being "stuck" is awful but things have to change at some point. Hope you are able to get that much needed break before too long.

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  • NellNoRegrets
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5 years 6 months ago #459125 by NellNoRegrets
Replied by NellNoRegrets on topic Re:holidays.
Hi

Being on your own is a two-sided thing. Sometimes it''s terribly lonely and you feel very small and insignificant.:(But it''s also lovely to be able to do what you want without having to fit in with anyone else''s moods and wishes.:)

It''s also quite easy to assume everyone else is happy when we''re feeling down, but this isn''t true.

I''ve found what works is to stop thinking about the negatives and try to accentuate the positives. Doing anything physical helps however hard it is to get going - housework or gardening. It''ll produce endorphins which make you feel better and just having a cleaner or tidier or prettier environment will help lift your mood.

Plus, I bet if you contacted some of your friends at least one of them will be at a loose end.

This is easy to say, I know, but I too felt really down this morning. I stayed in bed and then finally dragged myself out and as a treat I had hot cross buns for breakfast!
I then made plans for the holiday (I work in a school so have 2 weeks off) so I have a framework and some goals which makes life easier. Listening to some upbeat music can also help - dancing to it is a good cheerer-upper.

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  • itsbeenalongtime
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5 years 6 months ago #459128 by itsbeenalongtime
Replied by itsbeenalongtime on topic Re:holidays.
Thanks for that. I work with horses, so no real time off. but the good thing about that is you can talk to them and they never expect too much. They always know when you need cheering up and being outdoors all day is good. It just seems holidays are for families. My stbx waited til kids left home before he decided he didnt want to be here either. He has always worked long hours, so its not him not being here, its the fact that nobody is coming home. Total empty nest syndrome.
I guess 30 years of having meals ready, washing and cleaning up after him and the kids is going to be a habit hard to get out of.
Puppy sitting for my daughters puppy that had a nasty accident, so keeping me occupied between sorting horses.
Thanks again. Hope all going well with you.

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