Posted forum and will try to blog so all friends receive the thank you.
We wish for Karma but...
Earlier I posted:
If this is is karma take it away.
This is a thank you and a tribute to all Wikis who have supported me since I joined this site. Too many names to remember, but just wanted to say a big thank you for the last 4 years.
Death is not what we wish on someone who was part of our life for more than half of our years on this earth.
Dennis passed away on 8/6/15. I was called too late to say good bye and the last time I was allowed to see him was a week earlier.
We parted friends, parents and grandparents and he will always have a place in my heart.
He kept asking was there something he could get me to remember him by, my reply was always “No, all our memories are locked in my heart”.
So I have a memory locket from him. He gave it me before he died and engraved on it was “To the world you are one, to me you are the world”. I wore it daily during the last 2 weeks of his life and when he said how lovely it looked, OW could only reply “I can''t wear mine yet”.
Someone once said, this woman will never be your friend, and how true that statement has been.
At his funeral, she created this life that he supposedly had over the last 4 years where he had lived with her, wiping out anything that had gone before. But I guess in her world that was her reality. I know I saw and spoke with him most days and he spent the nights in the annex with the van on the drive! Maybe I was just seeing things!
It was hard to listen to. But my son recognised that it was her fantasy.
It was sad that a man of 54 years was only spoken about for 4 years of his life and his family of 28 years mentioned in passing.
I know she has as much right as me to grieve.
I saw him as much as was allowed in the days since his diagnosis. I have pictures taken with his son and grandson and tons of text messages (not all were good day / bad day), some talking about how he wished we emigrated or carried through our early retirement fantasy. I also have texts from OW telling me to stay away, followed by others asking why I had not visited?
I tried so much to respect their relationship, but she failed to respect mine and his need to be close to his children.
Wish I had been so much more aggressive. But that is not me, it''s not the reason we married and had kids or stayed together so long.
And it''s because of our relationship that the first text following his diagnosis said: “I''m so sorry, I loved you so much. We fell out of love but you were so much of my life. I do miss you and the kids so much, please forgive me. I know I have hurt you”.
So thank you once again for your support and friendship.
And the parting post from my FB time line allegedly shared: “Just want you to know: Love the picture wall which included our children and grand child. Sad it was only this year''s pictures. There were so many more memories that could have been captured over the last 28 years. Just need you to know we all love you so much. Don''t think you can ever forget someone who was the reason that once made you smile”.
A really heartfelt thank you to you all.
Carly,you went through so very much with your breakup,the comings and goings of them both would have sent me off on one,but you handled it with dignity,even if you were seething inside.
Now you have handled his death with the same grace and dignity,which is a credit to the woman you are.Sitting there and listening to that"The last 4 years",must have been heartbreaker for you all.Your children are testament to his life,the life that you all shared,not the last few years,so yes she has a right to grieve but that right is primarily yours,simply because you deserve it.OW,only knew the man he was now,not the husband and father,but his family do know that man,the one who worked hard to support his family...Sorry Carly,you all own that right.
A quick leaving like this,is very hard,but at least we can all start to put things in order,reinforce our love to the people who matter,although that is something we should never have to do,everyday let the people who matter know that we love them unconditionally.
I don''t know if it''s Karma or not,I suspect not.Nobody wishes death on another,it''s just simply how our individual cards have been dealt,although it''s still always good to remember treat people with love and compassion,and plain and simple respect,and maybe we will get that returned in the both worlds..
Carly my heart goes out to you all,and I know that your wonderful family are a source of much comfort to you,wallow in the love and bonds that you share....
I read your post this morning but couldn’t find the words of comfort I wanted to send you, I still can’t. Your words are full of grace and very moving. Your husband was a fool, maybe his spirit realises that now. I don’t believe Karma is punishment, more a resolution of our lives, and how we choose to use it. I believe you’ve used your experience well, and by so doing blessed yourself and all those you love and have loved.