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Using children for messages

  • julie321
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29 Nov 16 #486179 by julie321
Topic started by julie321
Still trying to sort out Consent Order with ex. However he has told me not to contact him anymore so I assumed he would be communicating through his solicitor.

However on a couple of occasions recently he has asked our children to tell me what he wants me to do. They are adults but it still is uncomfortable for them and it winds me up which causes friction between me and them.

I am not prepared to take instructions from him via the children and as he has told me not to contact him directly would I be within my rights to send a letter to his solicitor asking him not to use the children in this manner.

Not sure how else to tackle the problem.

  • rubytuesday
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29 Nov 16 #486185 by rubytuesday
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Could your adult children tell thier father that they don't wish to be caught in the middle of you both and aren't prepared to be messengers for him.
If they don't feel comfortable doing this, and they do pass information, remember not to shoot the messenger and simply say "thanks for that" and say nothing further about it to them

You can write to his sols requesting that any communications come from the sols in future, but if your ex isn't providing instructions for the sols to contact you about certain matters, the sols won't do so without instruction.

As irritating as this, try to not let it interfere in your relationship with your children.

  • julie321
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29 Nov 16 #486186 by julie321
Reply from julie321
Thank you Ruby
It is hard not to bite when given an instruction via children but i know it is not their fault. It is also not their dispute either and I never ask them to pass any information to him. If it happens again I will suggest they tell him they don't want to be involved. I will not be acting on any messages either so that might get through to him eventually.

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