After a weekend of Absolute hell, dreadful verbal abuse from my STBX in front of the children which is totally unacceptable - I have today spoken with the Women's Aid helpline and now realise I have been subject to domestic abuse for years - how may you ask did I not realise - it has been so gradual and I was always told everything was my fault, which is what abusers do. It has been like a light bulb moment for me I have been through absolute hell and back with him.
As the first hearing get closer the verbal abuse has been increasing to horrendous levels. I have had lots of really good advice and just need to keep as far away from him as I can and be there for my lovely children trying to keep things as normal for them as I can.
This sounds very familiar... well done for calling women's aid and recognising you're STBX's behaviour for what it is.
It's amazing isn't it how when you see it happening to other people, the abuse is clear as day. Yet when it's happening to you, it just creeps in to your life and then one day it hits you like a bus, that you are a victim of domestic abuse!
I think you need to think about whether you can continue to live under the same roof. The acrimonious divorce will most definitely take it's toll on home life for the whole family.
It may be time to think about how to can distance yourself from the abuse. I hope women's aid were able to explain the options available to you.
Thanks Bubblegum - yes you are so right in what you say
I totally agree with you this cannot continue as he keeps getting more and more aggressive - I have been given local support groups contact details and also advice regarding occupational/non mol orders.
The thing that I have struggled with over the years is that in social situations around friends etc you would think he is the most charming person you could meet. The minute he is behind closed doors the torture starts. Despite raising a family he could go months and months completely ignoring my existence always putting the blame on me.
In addition he has now said that I have been fraudulently claiming tax credits, which I was advised to do and that I will end up in prison - the tax credits have launched any enquiry and I have given the info required today. Unfortunately my solicitor is not around until Wednesday to speak to
Oh dear things were meant to improve in 2017 I think I have a long long way to do
If the Tax Credits situation is worrying you speak to your local CAB office for clarification or maybe ring the tax credits helpline. Although I'm not sure they don't even understand all of their rules themselves. Hopefully, evidence of permanent separation would be enough satisfy their investigations.