I'm a few years the other side of my divorce and am married again now, very happily.
I know families are all made up differently but I can't help feeling awkward when my step-daughter wants to hold family gatherings. Fair enough she insists on inviting her mother (My hubbys ex) and her new partner but also her (this is where it gets complicated) mother's other ex-husbands ex wife. Also my step-daughter's partner's ex wife. OK they all seem to get on but I do feel awkward. All a bit cosy. I stay in touch with my ex's family to an extent but not so much as to party on down with them. Maybe it's just me.
My husband's daughter and step son came to our wedding but no way would I have wanted their mothers included in any of the celebrations, I haven't quite got around to wondering what will happen in the future, last Christmas my now husband spent boxing day with his ex wife and ex partner who are friends and their children, maybe this year I will be invited - feels weird to me. Much as I admire the fact that he has stayed friendly with his exs I don't think I want to be friends with them.
I have assured my daughter that if I am needed at a family occasion in the future which includes my ex and his new partner then I will behave well, my new husband feels the same, we would see them if necessary but don't wish to have any contact with them personally.
I suppose the bigger the 'do' the easier it is to all be there but not have to socialise, I shall just have to play it by ear should an occasion arise but I'm not keen.
I have this problem. My son is planning his wedding and although I accept his dad should be there I will not be attending if he invites his dad's family and certainly not the OW. I wanted to maintain a relationship with ex and his family for the sake of my son and daughter. They were having none of it and they turned their backs on me and embraced OW. This has led to my son seeing them occasionally but my daughter has lost her family too because she will not accept OW.
To be honest I cannot believe they would expect me to be in their company ever again.