OK so I'm going to make this simple.
Fiance is widow, I'm divorcee.
He wants to buy a house together now and then get married next year. We both have houses. If we sell both we have the following equity:
I have 200,000 to put in and he has 350,000. We have 3 grown children.
However (let me stress my question is in my children's interest) and I can't figure out and can't explain properly to my fiance.
If let's say I kept my house for next 10 years paid of mortgage I would come out with 400,000. My fiancé's has no mortgage.
However if I buy a house together he says if we breakup in 10byears I would take out 200,000 only and half of any extra value we made on the house, which let's be realistic if we made 100,000 that would be great... But would still mean after 10 years I come out with 250,000 to buy a house which no way would I be able to get the same kind of house that I do now and children would miss out in the future.
We are going to pay our wages into one pot (he earns more than me) and any savings put a side. He did say we would split savings if we separated. Not sure how true this would be if we did divorce.
Is this a good deal. I can't get my head around the money I would lose if I buy with him.
However, I love him and don't plan on leaving him but I've been through divorce in past and want to cover all eventualities without coming across greedy.
Do you understand my side or should I just accept and if worst happens let's say accept 250,000 rather than 400,000 I would have if I didn't.
If we don't buy together he sees this as going backwards instead of forward.
Let me just add he has lots of money maturing in 4 years which would make him financially secure to go ahead and buy another house himself.
I am 55 he is 59 ao in 10 years would not be able to get a mortgage and nor would I want to.
Please help how I can resolve
I assume that by pooling your resources you would both be mortgage free? If that's the case you could put what you would have paid in mortgage into a savings vehicle. It may not do as well as bricks and mortar but would be something.